· "OLD" IS WHEN..... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and
make love," and you answer, "Honey, I can't do both!"

· "OLD" IS WHEN..... Your friends compliment you on your new
alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

· "OLD" IS WHEN..... A sexy babe catches your fancy and your
pacemaker opens the garage door.

· "OLD" IS WHEN..... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of
your face.

· "OLD" IS WHEN..... You don't care where your spouse goes, just
as long as you don't have to go along.

· "OLD" IS WHEN..... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor
instead of by the police.

· "OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting a little action" means I don't need
to take any fiber today.

· "OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in
the parking lot.

· "OLD" IS WHEN..... An "all nighter" means not getting up to
pee.