Thread: Oprah Winfrey goes to Dr. Phil

Oprah Winfrey goes to Dr. Phil and confides in him:

"I just can't seem to keep my weight down," she sobs. "I've
tried Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, Slim Fast, Hollywood, Atkins,
and a thousand other diets and none of them have lasting
results. I've even tried hypnotherapy, acupuncture, & coffee
enemas and still no success. Can you help me?"

Dr. Phil says: "I think I can help you, but first there's
something I need to check out. Take off all of your clothes and
get down on your hands and knees."

Having tried all other remedies and not wanting to show her lack
of faith in the Doc, she obeys, strips down to her B'day suit and
plops down on the floor.

"Now crawl over by the fireplace and hold that position for 5
minutes." says the Doc.

He stares at her from many different angles and then finally
says, "Okay, Get Dressed and come back tomorrow."

The next day, Oprah comes back and Dr Phil gives her the same
instructions, but this time he has her crawl over by the
Christmas tree and hold the position for 5 minutes.

"Again he walks around the room looking at her from all angles
and rubbing his chin in deep thought. After 5 minutes he has her
get dressed and tells her to come back the following day.

This goes on for three more days and Oprah has stripped and
crawled by the French doors, the throw rug, the desk and she's
getting pretty steamed about now. She finally gets dressed and
says:

"Look Doc, I've tried lots of crazy stuff in my life to lose
weight, but how is crawling around naked on your floor going to
help me lose weight"?

Dr. Phil rubs his chin and says: "Oh it won't, but I'm buying an
overstuffed black leather sofa for my office and I wanted to see
where it would look best."

ouch.