What's pink and bubbly and scratches at the glass? Baby in a microwave.

What's the worst part about having sex with Marilyn Monroe? Maggots

What's black or white and red all over?
An inter-racial abortion

What do you do after you rape a deaf mute? break her fingers so she can't tell anyone.

what do 75,000 abused women every year have in common? they don't f**king listen

My girlfriend and I were having sex the other day when she looked at me and said, "Make love to me like in the movies."
So I fucked her in the ass, pulled out, and came all over her face and hair.
I guess we don't watch the same movies.

Redneck brother says to his sister: "Gee, you fuck better than Mom!"
Sis: "Yeah, that's what Dad says too."

What do you call an Indian dating service?
Connect the Dots.

Q: What is 18 inches long, stiff and makes women scream at night?
A: Crib death.

Q: How can you tell when your sister is on her period?
A: Your dad's dick tastes funny.

A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub. She says "Show me it's true what they say about black men". So he stabs her & nicks her purse.

I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pickpocketed. How could anyone stoop so low?

Did you hear about Micheal Jackson dying from a heart-attack.
IT was complete bullshit!!
He died in the childrens ward whilst having a stroke.

What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes? Nothing. You've already told her twice.

Whats that useless skin around the vagina called?
A woman.

Did you hear about the psychopath who raped a mentally retarded 12 year old in a lift?
It was wrong on all sorts of levels...