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  1. #1
    Thailand Expat
    charleyboy's Avatar
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    Best Aussie pick-up line.

    An Aussie walks into a pub and takes a seat next to a very attractive
    woman.. He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a
    moment. The woman notices this and asks, 'Is your date running late?' 'No',
    he replies,'I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing
    it..' The intrigued woman says, 'a state-of-the-art watch? ''What's so
    special about it?' The Aussie explains, 'It uses alpha waves to talk to me
    telepathically.' The lady says, 'What's it telling you now?' Well, it says
    you're not wearing any knickers.' The woman giggles and replies 'Well it
    must be broken because I am wearing knickers!' The Aussie smiles, taps his
    watch and says, 'Bloody thing's an hour fast!'

  2. #2
    Thailand Expat harrybarracuda's Avatar
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    Australian Foreplay: "Brace yerself Sheila".

  3. #3
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    Short time or long time watch.

  4. #4
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    Top 10 Aussie Pick Up Lines

    1. “Can I give you an Australian kiss? It’s like a French kiss, but Down Under!”
    An absolute classic pickup line, nothing says Australiana like this saying. We all picture images of passionate kissing when we think of Frenching, so when applying the words “down under” to that image, things are just going to go south (hopefully in a good way!)
    2. “Can I didgeridoo you?”
    Haha, get it? “Didgeri-do you?”
    3. “I wanna get lost in your Outback.”
    Whenever guys see a hot girl’s long legs, often one of them will say how they wouldn’t mind getting lost in those legs. This is essentially that thought, but in an Australian context.
    4. “Wanna blow my didgeridoo?”
    I don’t think Indigenous people will appreciate their most prized musical instrument being a metaphor for a penis getting a gobby, but it’s still funny.
    5. “I’ll eat you like a dingo eats a baby.”
    Probably not the best line, making girls picture a ferocious dingo ravishing a helpless infant to bloody bits rather than a guy treating their privates like an ice cream. Still funny though. Just don’t ever use this line if the lady in question happens to be Lindy Chamberlain.
    6. “I bet you sound like a Tasmanian Devil in bed.”
    No guy actually wants the girl they’re sleeping with to sound like that agro Looney Toons character, but if this line is going to help you get her off, so be it!
    7. “I put the ‘laid’ in Adelaide.”
    Probably best used if you live in the city of churches, but should work throughout Oz.
    8. “I’m like a boomerang. I just keep coming back to you.”
    Some guys are just going to follow girls around and will keep bugging them, so this metaphor is pretty accurate, and like those guys, has a bit of wood.
    9. “Let’s pretend you’re a croc so we can wrestle!”
    I can’t imagine girls finding fellas like the late Steve Irwin and Paul Hogan in his Crocodile Dundee days sexy, let alone getting into rough fights with crocodiles. So the picture of you doing it, and her being the croc, won’t work. But again, it’s so cheesy that it’s funny.
    10. “Let me show you why Australia started out as a penal colony.”
    Throwing in a nice historical reference to Australia’s not so humble beginnings, and obviously “penal” meaning to sound like “penis”, perhaps this could work if you’re trying to pull the bad boy attitude girls seem to like, as bad boys usually have done a bit of time.

  5. #5
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    dunno... but always figured kitchen table should always be less than an arms length from the fridge door handle?

  6. #6
    Gohills flip-flops wearer
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    "Excuse me missus woman, do you take it up the blurter?"

  7. #7
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    Australian foreplay.

    "You awake?"

  8. #8
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    pick up line in a aussie gay bar =excuse me sir,would you mind if I push your stoole in??

  9. #9
    Thailand Expat

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    what do shelias use for protection when having a shag - a bus shelter

  10. #10
    Thailand Expat
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    Does yer dad own a brewery?

  11. #11
    god
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    On yer back, grunter! That was a Bankstown one.

  12. #12
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    Baaaaaaaa

  13. #13
    Excommunicated baldrick's Avatar
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    do you sleep on your stomach ?
    no

    do you mind if I do

    can I have the box your virginity came in ?


    can I smell your pussy ?
    no

    well it must be your armpits then

  14. #14
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    Do ya fvck Shiela?
    No
    Do ya mind lyin' down while I 'ave one?

  15. #15
    Thailand Expat
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    Get yer kit off and show us yer kipper.

  16. #16
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