After a 12-year break from doing, well anything really, I'm just getting back to grips with the finer points of a weekly shop, and I must say I'm enjoying it more and more with each outing.

Contrary to popular belief, England, in terms of stocking the fridge, isn't expensive.

Here's a list of the items I bought yesterday. These will keep me in evening meals for a week.

The following may rouse some suspicion concerning my sexuality, but that doesn't matter.

SHOP: Waitrose

TIME: Mid-afternoon

RIFF-RAFF PRESENCE: Minimal

1. tomatoes
2. cucumber
3. avocado
4. salad onion
5. olives
6. lettuce
7. red and green peppers
8. Loaf of Warburtons stoneground wholemeal bread
9. 5 tins sardines a la limone
10. 2 packs smoked kippers
11. Pack of lamb liver
11. Microwave meal - fisherman's pie
12. Microwave meal - wild mushroom risotto
13. Microwave meal - Mac and cheese
14. 4 pack Kronenberg

Total £ ________________


Greenery for the nearest guess.