^

Oh, Oh.

A suggestion or 3.

Post lost/wanted posters around the village with pictures of frogs on. Get them out before the drums start up.

Acquire a large dead snake and hang it from a tree. Both creating a plausible scenario.

Do you have a hazmat suit, a fully stocked, reinforced "Safe Space" to exist in?

Do your wife's family have access to explosives?

Keep your dash cam on 2/7, connected to the internet so somebody around the world can monitor it, whilst you grab 40 winks.