^^ I prefer that theory to she's trying to hide my 'wank stains'... of which there aren't any, of course.

(a lesson all seafarers learn early in their careers! )


^^ My bunk is perfectly ample for my reduced girth (Did you know that in Nelson's time the sailors were only allotted 14 inches of space in which to hang their hammocks).

In fact, at the last crew change a couple of onsigners mentioned that I'd lost weight. If I stayed on much longer I reckon that 14 inches would be more than enough!