Steps towards a purrrrfect Saturday.

Make haste to the local shop and relieve the Frigidaire of several dozen large bottles of award winning ale.

Retreat to the solace of your balcony where your previously purchased Saturday essentials await you. These are:

1. A child's shotgun. While the facade is playful, the weapon is actually capable of inflicting a satisfactory sting to its recipient - the much abhorred moggie.

2. A glorious tome of short stories and anecdotes.

Then simply spend the rest of your day getting drunk, reading, and shooting cats - all from the vantage point of your own veranda.

What a fucking splendid day!