My girlfriend is a prostitute and I don't care

[stroller]

Anyway, could that be why I attracted to 'dangerous' women who have good hearts deep down and offer me the challenge to win it?

I think they simply find you amusing, for a while.
It's not about "why", anyway, it's about you recreating the situation you were in with your mother, subconsciously setting yourself up to lose her again. Or something like this. Reflecting on this alone won't change anything, individual therapy might, if you wanted to break out of the cycle.

[shehiredahitman]

subconsciously setting yourself up to lose her again

This is spot on.

You desire your own destruction, Scamp, but don't possess the necessary moral-fibre to support a full-blown deathwish, so engineer ways in which it will happen to you all by itself.

I believe therapy - while not a waste of time - is incomparable to a real friend who truly gives a monkeys about you as an actual person as opposed to being a customer. Understanding your problems doesn't make them go away. Knowing somebody else gives a toss about makes them easier to live with until they go away & all problems go away in the end.

The catch is you'll have a completely different set of problems to contend with by the time you've sorted these ones out. It's a constant fucking merry-go-round of grief but sometimes you get off, it's good, then you get back on again. Full circle fifty times & gone nowhere.

Someone said somewhere -& I like this a lot : Don't cry because it's over - smile because it happened.

I was fostered & all that. Never worked out wherever I went. Kicked out the care home at 16 with a bedsit in Miles Platting & £150 to build a life with - you know how it works. Sent the £150 on a party first night & never achieved more in life than an average wage or an average home or anything others aspire to, no matter how hard I tried, since that. You're not on your own mate. At the end of the day you don't choose who you're going to settle with. You settle for the person who settles for you.