Thread: Computers are truly amazing!

I know it's a sign of entering terminal grunterdom, with its impending oblivion, to be impressed by what other younger folk take for granted and accept as the mundane but I had one of those moments this morning and I don't mean getting wood hard enough to bang in nails.

Apple have been informing me of a new version of their OS but I ignored it since to me it means just a new name and a pretty picture of some mountain in nice lights. But, I finally got round to downloading the new MacOS Sierra this morning and have discovered Siri.

Now slap me sideways and call me Alice if you like, but I really do think I have now finally arrived in the future which I never thought would be possible in my lifetime and was the stuff of "HAL" in "2001" and " Holly " in "Red Dwarf".

In testing Siri, I asked it some questions ( once I worked out how to use the announcer icon ) and realised its limitations, particularly when it came to place names. In the end and out of mounting frustration I yelled at the thing telling it that I wanted to know the nearest cinema to Pattaya and not where I could buy a "patio" and called it a fucking idiot.

Blow me, the chap's voice paused in meaningful silence and replied " I'm sorry, Seekingasylum, I'm doing my best ".

The wingman fell about laughing but I have to say I was taken aback momentarily and actually felt some remorse for hurting the chap's feelings. Of course, its all algorithms but for a moment....

Ah well. I see the new MacBook Pro is out now and what a piece of kit that is with its touch bar which I quite fancy although £2000 seems quite a lot for something that mostly mystifies me.

Why am I not surprised that genticles uses the male voice option for 'Siri'.

I hope thegent didn't speak to his valet in the same manner.

Where can I find a good Dr, Yes Siri Bob

SeekingAss does seem to have terrible anger issues over the most trivial of things.

Originally Posted by buriramboy

SeekingAss does seem to have terrible anger issues over the most trivial of things.

Yeah, dunno why he doesn't just work out his aggression issues by beating up women.

Originally Posted by AntRobertson

Why am I not surprised that genticles uses the male voice option for 'Siri'.

What options?

Originally Posted by cyrille

Originally Posted by buriramboy

SeekingAss does seem to have terrible anger issues over the most trivial of things.

Yeah, dunno why he doesn't just work out his aggression issues by beating up women.

Is that what you do? Can't say I'm surprised.

why didn't you buy an iPad ? much convenient to use in your wheelchair

Originally Posted by Seekingasylum

Originally Posted by AntRobertson

Why am I not surprised that genticles uses the male voice option for 'Siri'.

What options?

Search google with "siri custom voices" howtogeek has some info on how to change voice male/female and accents.
Sorry but I can't provide links from this phone...and won't be on a real machine for another week.

You can change the voice just by going to system preferences.

The masochistic can even get South African.

Seth Effrican ?
More understandable than a heavy Scottesh accent, and both of them far less cringeworthy than New Zilland.

Now slap me sideways and call me Alice if you like, Of course, its all algorithms but for a moment....

aaaah, that explains a lot.


from this mornings daily telegraph .....

Lonely men are increasingly turning to Siri for love and 'sexually explicit' chat

Some teenagers and "truckers" who do not have partners are developing feelings for female and male-voiced chatbots such as the iPhone's Siri.

Lydia Willgress
27 OCTOBER 2016 • 9:37AM
Men are increasingly turning to virtual assistants to have sexually explicit conversations, it has been claimed.

Some teenagers and "truckers" who do not have partners are also developing feelings for female and male-voiced chatbots such as Siri, one expert said.


He told The Times it was "mostly teenagers and truckers without girlfriends" who were turning to the virtual world.

"This happens because people are lonely and bored.... It is a symptom of our society," he said. "As well as the people who want to talk dirty, there are men who want a deeper sort of relationship or companionship."

He added to Quartz that people who use engage with their virtual assistants in such a way "want to flirt, they want to dream about a subservient girlfriend, or even a sexual slave".

The film Her tells the tale of a lonely writer who becomes obsessed with his chatbot, voiced by Scarlett Johansson

Virtual assistants - such as the iPhone's Siri and Microsoft's Cortana - are included on smartphones and computers to make life easier, allowing users to issue commands, such as "call mum", or easily search for nearby facilities such as restaurants and petrol stations.

But Eckstein believes five per cent of interactions with his company's chatbot are now sexually explicit. He also claims a third of conversations take place for no particular reason, with many users just wanting to chat.

Deborah Harrison, a writer for Microsoft's Cortana, told the Virtual Assistant Summit earlier this year that "a good chunk of the volume of early-on inquiries" were about the chatbot's sex life.

The issue has inspired films such as Her, which was released in 2013 and tells the tale of a lonely writer, who becomes obsessed with his operating system's virtual assistant, voiced by Scarlett Johansson.

Lonely men are increasingly turning to Siri for love and 'sexually explicit' chat

it would appear that your prolonged incarceration in "sin city" has infected you with an unhealthy attraction to "bots" (oooooh matron) and you are most definitely in need of some kind of expert counselling in order to cure you of this disturbing affliction.

its nothing to feel ashamed about, recognition of the problem is the first step on the road to recovery and there are millions of other disturbed perverts out there in dimly lit rooms with only a box of tissues (man size) for company wanking over their laptops, so you are not alone and we on the forum wish you well.

"good evening, my name is asylum and i talk to bots, one day at a time and all that"

Oy! I'm not the guy who spent his entire career rootling around in other people's mouths and looking up their nostrils for gain!

When you were tonguing Gladys Thunderthighs preparatory to your trembler, did you occasionally call an impromptu halt to proceedings and say " You know what, but that's quite the oddest left anterior bicuspid I've come across in weeks ?".

Originally Posted by Seekingasylum

Ah well. I see the new MacBook Pro is out now and what a piece of kit that is with its touch bar

hehe a little touch bar ?
microsoft blew mac tards out of the water the day before with this beauty
it looks amazing
they have even updated microsost Paint to Paint 3D at least for windows 10

Originally Posted by cyrille

You can change the voice just by going to system preferences.

The masochistic can even get South African.

I have changed it and 'he" has now become "she" and has a lovely Irish accent.

I asked her how she was today and, fuck me, she said she was not as happy as when she was Finder.....???? Fucking humour!! I then asked what she meant and she replied " I'm here to serve you " to which I enquired whether or not she would like to fuck. Bugger me, " That is not nice " is the reply.

This really is fun. If we had this when I was dropping Purple Haze, God knows how things might have turned out.

Originally Posted by Seekingasylum

I have changed it and 'he" has now become "she" and has a lovely Irish accent.

I found the Irish accent somehow more robotic.

I'd prefer a bit of a french accent ideally, so I can reminisce about better pre-brexit vote times.

I've hardly been using it, as opposed to using it hardly, but after reading your post at about 9am my time I asked (English, female) siri to play some music. The music requested started up six hours later.

Perhaps siri prefers to play legally acquired stuff.