Thread: Biblical Epics

Yesterday was Spy Wednesday when Judas Iscariot conspired with the Pharisees to betray Jesus and today was Maundy Thursday when they held the last supper (I had lamb curry for dinner) and Jesus had his doubts in the Agony in the Garden and then the mob turned up in the Garden of Gethsemane and someone lost an ear.

So to get in the mood I have been knocking off a few Biblical Epics the past week.

The Passion of The Christ 2004

Mel Gibson's gory recounting of the Passion from Gethsemane to the Cross is a tortuous watch. My 3rd viewing. The actor who plays Jesus was struck by lightning while filming the Sermon on the Mount scene, he was flayed for real when the the Roman who was flogging him missed the board that was used to protect his back during filming, and he bit his tongue when he fell carrying the cross so the blood you see pouring out of his mouth along the Via Dolorosa is his own. Awesome!

9/10

Despite all this punishment Jim Caviezel is coming back next year to star in Gibson's long awaited follow up The Passion Part II about the resurrection, despite being over 20 years older.

Ben Hur (A Tale of the Christ) 1959

Epic tale of a Jewish merchant (played by Charlton Heston) laid low by Rome but who makes an epic comeback as a charioteer and meets Jesus along the way before witnessing the crucifixion many years later.

9/10

The Greatest Story Ever Told 1965

A blue-eyed young Max von Sydow (relatively unknown actor at the time) stars as JC in an engaging account of his life from the Nativity to the Resurrection. Charlton Heston plays a solid John the Baptist.

7/10

The Ten Commandments 1956

Cecille B De Mille's block buster of the story of Moses with Charlton Heston as Moses. The actress who played his mother in Ben Hur plays his mother again. Yul Brynner is the evil Pharaoh Ramses II

I like watching these old movies since it gets me googling all the biblical details. There is so much stuff I never knew since RE classes were spent waffling about contemporary morality instead of exploring the mystical mysteries of the scriptures.

8/10

The Gospel According to St Matthew 1964

A black and white Italian art house style story of JC using amateur actors. A refreshing change from the blockbuster treatment.

7/10

Solomon and Sheba 1959

A raunchy retelling of the visit of the Queen of Sheba to Solomon with Yul Brynner and the luscious Gina Lollobrigida. Quite good fun but mostly strays a long way from what is written in the sacred texts. Although rival mythologies such as the Ethiopian Church maintain that Sheba did bear Solomon a child and he was the first king in a line stretching to the last, Haile Selassie who died in 1974.

6/10


I have not seen The Life of Brian for a couple of Years but I will find time for that. What Islam needs is a Life of Mohamed Monty Python for some good PR

where is Victor Mature?

you could stretch it to Burton in Baecket

Originally Posted by malmomike77

where is Victor Mature?

I started watching Samson and Delilah tonight but I am only half an hour through so the jury is not in yet. I will finish it tomorrow.

I love the story of Samson in the Book of Judges. It is so weird with the honey and the lion and the hooker from Gaza, so I hope they do not mess it up as much as Solomon and Sheba.

The Robe

Go for the African Queen, its got a rieligious taint

Originally Posted by malmomike77

The Robe

I downloaded The Robe earlier this week and I am looking forward to it as it sounds like a proper epic. I might save it for Easter Sunday.

Originally Posted by malmomike77

Go for the African Queen

Don't mind if I do, sir.

the British Film Institue (BFI) has its own top 10 Biblcals, not sure i agree but they do justify them

10 great Bible films | BFI

^ shame less

Originally Posted by Looper

The actor who plays Jesus was struck by lightning while filming the Sermon on the Mount scene

Hilarious and oddly appropriate. But what did he exclaim immediately after ?


I've always liked this meme even though it is an oldie :

Originally Posted by malmomike77

^ shame less

​party!

Originally Posted by Looper

I have been knocking off

Mswhirl Allcummers?

That one with Robert Powell as JC was good.

He used to live just down the road from me when he was a kid y'know.

Robert Powell, that is.

Robert Powell, Cyrille Regis, Bangkok Phil...it was Brum's Alderly Edge of the seventies.

Originally Posted by Looper

I started watching Samson and Delilah tonight

This movie is great fun, an hour in, and maybe my favourite biblical epic so far.

But I have paused it for a moment since it is currently just past 3pm in Israel. The time at which Jesus was crucified.

Even if you consider yourself an atheist or agnostic, rather than a Christian, it is worth taking a moment to pause on the anniversary and reflect on the defining event of the founding mythology of Western civilisation, which has blossomed into the globally admired jewel of modern western liberal democracy over the course of the subsequent 2 millennia.

Originally Posted by cyrille

That one with Robert Powell as JC was good.

Robert Powell played maybe the best JC in Jesus of Nazareth 1977. A truly haunting performance. I think only Ted Neeley and maybe Jim Caviezel rival him as iconic in the role.

Not strictly biblical but with Christain ovetones is Quo Vadis; very good watch

Originally Posted by cyrille

That one with Robert Powell as JC was good.

He used to live just down the road from me when he was a kid

I will look out for that, I've never imagined Jesus with a Brummie accent!

'Hey oop Joodus...wot dooin?'

Wh'appen Judas!

'Hey oop'?

dafuq

Originally Posted by Mendip

Jesus with a Brummie accent!

Am yow a Cheesus wept fan?

Originally Posted by Bonecollector

we will have to go with The Passion of The Christ. Not least because Mel's a bit of a legend in this household

Enjoy Bones. I hope your good wife is not too shocked by the bone-shattering, blood-spattering horror show that Mel has confected.

Originally Posted by Bonecollector

Got a smarties and mini eggs to enjoy it with as well!

Don't sit on any stray smarties or eggs and melt them into the sofa or you might get crucified!




Just remembered The Last Temptation of Christ.

I don't think I have seen it since I watched it at the cinema 35 years ago with my mate, paid for with money we earned busking together on guitars. We usually made enough for cinema tickets and a couple of beers each after.

i'd have to go with The Life of Brian.

and ...

Originally Posted by taxexile

i'd have to go with The Life of Brian

Worth the price of admission for the sight of Brian's girlfriend, Judith Iscariot's glorious 1970s muff, alone.

The actress went on to marry the unfortunate Chris Langham, who plays the giggling guard.

Originally Posted by Looper

Enjoy Bones. I hope your good wife is not too shocked by the bone-shattering, blood-spattering horror show that Mel has confected.

Don't sit on any stray smarties or eggs and melt them into the sofa or you might get crucified!




Just remembered The Last Temptation of Christ.

I don't think I have seen it since I watched it at the cinema 35 years ago with my mate, paid for with money we earned busking together on guitars. We usually made enough for cinema tickets and a couple of beers each after.

how likely inc Sympls Powell was the baby Jesus blue eyed?

they could have at least stuck some contacts on the cheap cvntsssss