Sanitized.

A double header from the cultural quarter.

Yaaaaaaaaaw!
Dick Head was a pratt, he drove a Skoda with extra lamps on,
Always dickin' prattin',
Looked like a reuseable tampon.
Tried to chat the birds up,
He'd always end up bleedin',
It's tough when you come from Bollington,
It's all the interbreeding.
Sunglasses in the evening,
Umbrellas in his bitter.
"Excuse me Mrs. Woman, do you take it up the shitter?"
Guess what in the pint pot?
Size ten in the dick,
It's best to take those glasses off when your chatting up Stez Styx.
Do you fancy going out on a bastard,
An' buying us a couple of beers?
She said, "I'd rather sit on me finger,
Or go and have a cervical smear."
Bloik.
So Dick Head went to Soho,
And he paid for a 69,
"Gissus the beads up front love,
You'd better not waste me time."
The whore had had beans…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MKf_qUTw2k

He squidges in the van,
All twenty four stones,
He gets three kebabs and he eats them on his own,
Quick trouser cough Nevis touches cloth,
Fuck fuck hide behind a truck, all the windows are steaming up.
Gas gas quick lads,
The air in here is turning brown,
Gas gas quick lads,
Get the fucking windows down,
Gas gas quick lads,
Nevis has gone and done a troof,
Gas gas quick lads,
I think the big fat twat has fallen through.
Ben Nevis filled the van with odour of turd,
Would have hung for less gas at Nurenburg,
Four chicken curries, eight tandories,
Boiled eggs, three kebabs fuck sake let him take command.
Gas gas quick lads,
Everyone's choked to death,
Gas gas quick lads,
Has us out with botty breath,
Gas gas quick lads,
Dig a trench, avoid the stench,
Gas gas quick…