Thread: Mongering

I almost gave it a try last night. Did it a few times in my first few months here, back in 2002, but quickly lost interest. Seemed like eating a plate of dog turd topped in ice cream (a fave past time of mine), or like picking up fag butts off the street.

But I saw a bird who actually looked half decent as I walked home from Fitness First, hanging around the Asoke BTS. We chatted for a minute, I was tempted, but didn't partake. I figured I knew the score. Back to the pad, shower, fumbling, dick in, fake moaning (I'm too big, I can't expect any bitch to enjoy it first time )

I can't see the pleasure in it. Really. Now't mental or emotional about it, just an hour-hired machine to blow ya load into.

...so you had a wank instead.

Nowt wrong with that, it's free, fun, reliable and you don't have to have a shower before.

If you've got an FHM handy you can also come on the face of Pamela Anderson or Cameron Diaz or someone like that.

Yep, and didn't even need a condom! Oh, and it was Natalie Imbruglia actually...

Isn't it a little too soon to be talking to prostitutes, and wanking off, after........, after your loss....