How to stump a Thai

[Smeg]

1) Go to the BTS change window with a 50 Baht note and ask for "seesip Baht"

2) Ask a Thai man for advice on maintaining a faithful marriage

3) Teachers, tell an English speaking Thai "After I finish doing work at the study building, I must drive my personal vehicle to the flying place to take a flying machine to Japaneseland.

4) Ask why a farang teacher who earns 25k Baht working for the Thai government has to pay 250 baht to enter a National Park, but a millionaire Chinese tourist could probably drive in for free (or 20 Baht, whatever it is)

These are a bit crap. Any good ones?

[colourful-era]

5. Hand over a 1000B note for something which costs 100B when the calculator is out of action.

6. Refuse to accept a drinking straw when buying a bottle of coke - that really fucks them up!

[aging one]

Give them back the right change when they give you back 170 baht and you just gave them a hundred baht note for something that cost 30.

[colourful-era]

- Bag your own shopping so that they can do the till at the same time.
(no it doesn't work, they just watch you bag up THEN do the till)

[aging one]

Bag your own shopping so that they can do the till at the same time. (no it doesn't work, they just watch you bag up THEN do the till)

That is a good one. I have waited for a gas attendent who never showed up so I pumped my own and then was wondering around trying to pay. I would have left if I didnt find the idiot in about 10 more seconds.

[NickA]

Cut both their legs off.

[klongmaster]

the rules of cricket do not vary according to the country.

if a man is out of his crease he can be stumped...thai or not!

[DJ Pat]

When they stop at the top of an escalator, act like you weren't aware that they did by barging them in the back. This may help them overcome the annoying habit.

[NickA]

Law 39 (Stumped)

1. Out Stumped
(a) The striker is out Stumped if
(i) he is out of his ground
and (ii) he is receiving a ball which is not a No ball
and (iii) he is not attempting a run
and (iv) his wicket is fairly put down by the wicket-keeper without the intervention of another member of the fielding side. Note Law 40.3 (Position of wicket-keeper).
(b) The striker is out Stumped if all the conditions of (a) above are satisfied, even though a decision of Run out would be justified.


2. Ball rebounding from wicket-keeper's person
(a) If the wicket is put down by the ball, it shall be regarded as having been put down by the wicket-keeper if the ball
(i) rebounds on to the stumps from any part of his person or equipment, other than a protective helmet
or (ii) has been kicked or thrown on to the stumps by the wicket-keeper.
(b) If the ball touches a helmet worn by the wicket-keeper, the ball is still in play but the striker shall not be out Stumped. He will, however, be liable to be Run out in these circumstances if there is subsequent contact between the ball and any member of the fielding side. Note, however, 3 below.

3. Not out Stumped
(a) If the striker is not out Stumped, he is liable to be out Run out if the conditions of Law 38 (Run out) apply, except as set out in (b) below.
(b) The striker shall not be out Run out if he is out of his ground, not attempting a run, and his wicket is fairly put down by the wicket-keeper without the intervention of another member of the fielding side, if No ball has been called.

[Wally Dorian Raffles]

ways to stump a Thai

1. Ask a Thai to read this>>>>>>

How quickly can you find out what is unusual about this paragraph? It looks so ordinary that you would think that nothing was wrong with it at all, and in fact, nothing is. But it is unusual. Why? If you study it and think about it you may find out, but I am not going to assist you in any way. You must do it without coaching. No doubt if you work at it for long, it will dawn on you. I don't know. Now, go to work and try your luck!

or to answer this.....

2. A 10 foot rope ladder hangs over the side of a boat with the bottom rung on the surface of the water. The rungs are one foot apart, and the tide goes up at the rate of 6 inches per hour. How long will it be until three rungs are covered?

or this...

3. What can go up a chimney down but not down a chimney up?

[aging one]

You cant answer that yes no. Uh Oh.

[NickA]

1. Err, nothing I guess???
2. never, boats float
3. Father Christmas????

Does that mean I'm Thai????

[Wally Dorian Raffles]

1. There are no letter 'e's.

2. Correct!

3. An Umbrella.


Yep! ..Yer a Thai, nick

[aging one]

1. There are no letter 'e's. 2. Correct! 3. An Umbrella. Yep! ..Yer a Thai, nick

On this one you lost me Wally!

[Wally Dorian Raffles]

^check page 1 AO

[dirtydog]

That one without the "e" is actually quite good

[NickA]

I gonan fokin foond 'em all...

[Smeg]

When they stop at the top of an escalator, act like you weren't aware that they did by barging them in the back. This may help them overcome the annoying habit.

great one. Why do Thai women have to watch 3 steps going by before they will venture onto the thing?

[Wally Dorian Raffles]

^because you might kick their kid!