Same shit, different ship

[taxexile]

our toilet expert speaks.

Looks like a shower hose rather than a proper bum gun. But it would still do the job.

[DrWilly]

[Reg Dingle]

Why is the head on the bum gun so big?

Because Mendy the Magpie nicked the last one?

[hallelujah]

Why is the head on the bum gun so big?

Because the gardener has got a massive todger?

[Reg Dingle]

To cover the gaping ring piece of Sindy the family ladyman friend when the Kommandant's 'upcuntry'

[Joe 90]

[dirk diggler]

It is a bit overkill.

[baldrick]

I am not an expert in hieroglyphics but

Does that say knob thruster thruster ?

Is that a secret code that semen use ?

[Mendip]

those platforms look top heavy and very unstable. how deep is the ocean there?

Thank you for an intelligent question Tax, a rarity on this thread.

The water depth is around 145m at Statfjord C.

These concrete GBS (Gravity Based Structures) platforms are like an iceberg... most is below the surface and they are far from top heavy. Statfjord C has now been in situ for 40 years and is still as stable as the day it was lowered onto the seabed..

Here it was under construction in Stavanger in the mid 80s. The concrete legs are supported by a huge array of concrete cells that are also used for storage. In this pic the cells are already mainly below the water line.



They are impressive structures. There's plenty of similar pics of Troll A on the net, the biggest moveable structure ever built by man. The concrete is poured in one continuous pour using a method called slip forming... continuously poured from a slowly rising gantry. This prevents construction joints... a weakness between separate concrete pours.



And being towed out to Statfjord with the topside on, 40 years ago. The platform is 280m high, from seabed level to the top of the drilling derrick.



The GBS structures were all the rage in the 80s but I don't think are built any more. Deepwater platforms tens to be anchored semi-subs or FPSOs these days.

It's a shame, I enjoy working at these old oil fields.



Statfjord C today while our dredging machine was back on deck due to a problem.



A couple of close-ups of the concrete legs... no Chinese rebar there.

How many hours of daylight are you getting up there at the moment?

Chatgpt is your friend...

Thanks for answering Hal's question Snubby, a rare question from Hal that didn't involve his preoccupation with underwear or fashion sense.

Personally, I'm not getting many hours of daylight at all just now, being on nightshift.

You brought back some memories for me there Dirk. When I worked in Angola for Subsea7, contractually we had to have 30% Angolans on board but as they were so useless they were just kept out of the way where they could do no harm. All these guys did for their entire work trip was to stuff their faces with food and constantly block the toilets. They used so much toilet paper that the ship's engineer spent most of his shifts unblocking the clogged up vacuum system, which probably wasn't the most pleasant of jobs and he really wasn't very happy.

In one meeting I suggested plumbing in bum guns to prevent this issue, but was just mocked and laughed at. K thought it was a good idea but I've often found that the idea of bum guns is petty horrifying to people who have never lived in Asia. I swear by them and if ever I move back to Blighty will have bum guns at every toilet.


I suppose I should address all comments...

Because Mendy the Magpie nicked the last one?

I've never worked on that boat...

To cover the gaping ring piece of Sindy the family ladyman friend when the Kommandant's 'upcuntry'

I can't believe that I'm entertaining this comment... but 'Sindy' is obviously spelt 'Cindy', with a 'C'.

And you don't spell 'country' like that, either.


Anyway, we've finished up at Statfjord tonight, a pic for Dirk with Installer ROV being recovered.



Once stowed and seafastened, we'll be off.

Incidentally, that is the same dredging machine that I retrieved my glacial boulder from when it became wedges in the suction nozzle. The boulder also came from this field, a few years ago.

Sadly the 26kg 'training' boulder has now disappeared and I never will get it back to Korat for my rockery.



I sent this to the daughter before school today... to show her what she can aim at if she works hard at her lessons!

It feels strange not to be wearing cammo shorts, but I did bring one pair with me. They have some pretty resistant stains that our cold water washing machine at home won't shift. I'm gonna pass them through the ship's laundry at 60 degrees, see if that does the trick!

[DrWilly]

You could watch some serious porn with that screen…


And I can’t help admitting that I feel disappointed that you didn’t bring that glacial boulder home.

[taxexile]

thanks mendy for the photos and answers. those things are magnificent.

its a shame these magnificent structures, designed and built by western brain and muscle are on the verge of redundancy as oil and gas become 21st century pariahs and we now have to rely on the chinese for solar and windfarm tech.

our descendants will not be thanking us.

[DrWilly]

I am not an expert in hieroglyphics but

Does that say knob thruster thruster ?

Is that a secret code that semen use ?

Perhaps Bendy Mendy missed these questions.

[Edmond]

Here it was under construction in Stavanger in the mid 80s.

That's some shiz right there.

Thank you for an intelligent question

I'll refrains from asking How much oil does that oil pump pump when that oil pump pumps pumped oil?

And instead ask how much did it cost to build one of those monolithic Stravy things?

[baldrick]

Probably 500 million in the 80's and 5 billion now

[Edmond]

*Checks me DCR*

[BLD]

An excellent thread as usual mendy..yep for me the bum gun is a necessity.i have 2 toilets at home in Perth now and both are equipped with bumguns. Initially I had a plumber over to.do some other shit and asked him to install them. He refused. Said it was illegal for him to do so without first installing some kind of back pressure gizmo at $500 each. Bollocks to that..installed them myself for fuckall. Ya gotta have a bumgun

[taxexile]

same in the uk, but muslims use these bum guns for both their arses and their flanges and muslim plumbers will usually fit them without the back pressure nonsense.

praise be to allah.

[BLD]

Yeah. Happy days gotta have a clean ass and flange for sure.

[BLD]

How's your flange tax?

[Reg Dingle]

^ Needs a filling.

[Reg Dingle]

[BLD]

[Joe 90]

[DrWilly]

[baldrick]

Said it was illegal for him to do so without first installing some kind of back pressure gizmo at $500 each

I think you will find it is a pressure regulator - the water pressure is much higher - what will happen is the bum gun valve will fail when you are away in bali and your house will get washed