Revenge is sweet, or slightly acrid?

[Briansmallcock]

Revenge is very very sweet at times.
We had some people over helping to pick the Lam Yai recently, some of them I completely despise as they are thieves and drunks, this has led to a few altercations and some bad feeling.

I know that my son hates a particular couple of these "people" too.

I found out today that he had played out his own little revenge attack, very shrewdly!

He told me he had left a few toys on the table downstairs the other night, and, after the Lam Yai pickers had doused themselves in whisky (lao kao) and left, he found some of his toys were missing and some had been moved.

So unknown to me at the time, he had taken one of those party type Kazoo blower things, stuffed it right up his dirty little ass, and then left it on the table.

Next night, after the lam yai brigade had had their fill of whisky and gone back home, he had gone downstairs,saw again his toys had been moved, then picked up the kazoo, gave it a sniff and apparently it smelled of Lao Kao instead of shit!

Can you get sweeter than that?

You can just picture them, pissed and behaving like 3 year olds like they usually do, playing with the kids toys and have a merry old TOOT TOOT on the shit rimmed Kazoo!

I asked him why he did it, and he said it was to teach people not to mess with his things!

[FailSafe]

Now you have to make sure he doesn't pick up that sort of thing as a habit...

[Fondles]

Your son like to jam things up his ass, I guess there will be no concern he gets the next door neighbours daughter pregnant then.

[sabaii sabaii]

Stuck it in his ass ?

I'd be worried, did he get a tune out of it ?

Tell him to use the dogs ass next time

[DrAndy]

Revenge is very very sweet at times.

party type Kazoo blower things, stuffed it right up his dirty little ass

Can you get sweeter than that?

I am a bit worried by this; is he a diabetic?

[spikebs4]

Your son like to jam things up his ass, I guess there will be no concern he gets the next door neighbours daughter pregnant then...ffs never mind the neighbours daughter, just be carefull when the men in orange come calling....

[Bettyboo]

Think what the little sod gets up to when daddy upsets him; doubt if he'd tell daddy though...

[Moonraker]

So you sniffed kazoo after it had been up your son's wazoo?

[Briansmallcock]

Think what the little sod gets up to when daddy upsets him; doubt if he'd tell daddy though...

You are not wrong there, I would never take a sweetie or food from him.
It must run in the family, somehow, I remember my younger brother when we were kids (7 and 4) he used to pick his ass every night and smear the shit on the walls.

Not as creative or crafty, but the habit was obviously there.

Apparently he had worms! And I got whacked over the legs with a dog leash for telling all the women in the Co Op.

Aren't parents great?

If I stayed out late, the door would be locked which meant I had to either sleep outside or ring the doorbell, if I rang the doorbell, I could see through the glass the silouette of my mother with either a heavy shoe or a dog lead waiting to beat me all the way upstairs to bed....no wonder I was fast in the cross country running team.

Little things like that tend to stay with you in life.

I once caught her cooking a Vesta curry ( we were a really progressive family - adventurous in food you see - Vesta Beef Curry or Vesta Chow Mein, nothing was a trouble to cook) She was trying to fish a bluebottle out of the curry sauce - it had obviously committed suicide in response to her cooking (She was capable of burning water) Anyway, I caught her in the act of removing the fly, it was done in a sort of nonchalont manner, but I caught her all the same, the rest of the family were totally unaware that a huge bluebottle had been swimming in a Vesta Dish That Was Complete, despite the fact that she would water a meal for two down until it fed four!

Anyway, she picked up the nearest object, which happened to be a huge carving knife, and chased me round the garden threatening to "Stab Me Like A Skemmy Get"

Still not sure what the word SKEMMY means, probably "RUN LIKE FUCK"

The other major food No No, was when after cooking the Sunday dinner, she had left all of the food in the oven to cool.

Again, by about 5pm it had indeed cooled, it had cooled sufficiently for half a dozen bluebottles (Big Flies) to go swimming in the gravy.

No worries there though, she scooped them out with sleight of hand that Paul fucking Daniels would have been proud of.

I kept my mouth shut this time as father and brother ate their fry up on Monday, I think I had a sandwich.

[sunsetter]

It must run in the family, somehow, I remember my younger brother when we were kids (7 and 4) he used to pick his ass every night and smear the shit on the walls.

wtf? something seriously wrong there

[Bettyboo]

^^ Indeed.

I suspect the unpleasant in-laws have bitten off more than they can chew on this occasion; don't forget to loosen the break cables next time you let them use the car.

^ only child, Sunsetter?

[Fondles]

I suspect the unpleasant in-laws have bitten off more than they can chew on this occasion; don't forget to loosen the break cables next time you let them use the car.

Brake cables ?

[sunsetter]

^ only child, Sunsetter?

nope, but can never remember stuff like that going down, weirdo

[Briansmallcock]

I had to chuckle to myself today, in the sweltering midday sun.

We had a new road put in by the local authourity a year or so ago.

This left us with a one foot or so STEP that we needed to negotiate everytime we left our place.

Friends were complaining (not many as I don't have them) that their cars were bottoming out on the gradient.

Anyway, the missus, who is now 10K the richer after her brother finally paid back what he borrowed from me (she got a 25% finders fee) decided to order a lorry load of shale.

The only equipment we had to spread the 4 cubic metres of shit was a dodgy Kabok and a plastic bucket with no handle.

After a few hours in the lovely hot sun, we managed to get it into a sort of navigable route - i.e. I could get the car out.

Then I spent about half an hour just going up and down with the car in 4 wheel drive trying to iron out the bumps (and yes there were lots)

Eventually, it seemed pretty much OK, at least the 1 foot step had gone, even though it was like climbing the peak of fucking Everest to get onto the road.

So off I went to cook a bit food.

6 PM tonight, she is standing in a fit of panic asking my son to phone some friends (she has no money on her phone as usual) to come around and help move the mountain of dirt!

Well, as usual, Thais will not be outdone by anyone - instead of simply ordering one lorry load of shit, the daft twat has gone and ordered two!

She then said she had asked the driver to dump the second load further down the drive so we could spread it "easier"

What did he do?

He dumped another 4 metres right on the top of the drive....so there was this fucking huge mountain to try and get out - no way my car would do that.

So off they went with a "shovel and a pick"... or should I say a kabok and a bucket with no handle, to try and move it.

At first I refused to assist in this act of self inflicted stupidity, but I could see it was going to cost me dearly next morning trying to take the kid to school. So off I went to help.

After about 5 minutes the fucking kabok BROKE YET AGAIN - I lost it and threw in the towel.

Took the huff for about 20 minutes, but finally relented and went back using the car as a road roller....

Fuck me, if you had seen it, I wished I had took a photo, the wife is up to her tits in shit, using the blade of the kabok as some sort of scraper device, trying to put 4 cubic metres of shale into a 5 litre plastic bucket with no handle to level the road.

Actually, give her her dues, she would probably fix the road quicker than the cunts that have spent 6 years building a new highway that stretches all of 5 KM!

You have to laugh, otherwise you would go completely fucking mad!

[Briansmallcock]

^^ Indeed.

I suspect the unpleasant in-laws have bitten off more than they can chew on this occasion; don't forget to loosen the break cables next time you let them use the car.

^ only child, Sunsetter?

No worries on borrowing the car - They'll need a fucking crane to lift the fucking car out of the drive after my wifes "Creation"

I wish I could just leave them to wallow in their own stupidity...but you cannot, every fucking thing they do adversly affects you, you cannot simply turn over in bed and ignore it, they are probably busy burning your fucking house down!

[Bettyboo]

Brake cables

You have to laugh, otherwise you would go completely fucking mad!

Too late, brother... Not to worry, you're in good company here.

[Briansmallcock]

Brake cables

You have to laugh, otherwise you would go completely fucking mad!

Too late, brother... Not to worry, you're in good company here.

I've lost the fucking plot! Believe me, you cannot understand a Thai in a million fucking years.

I find it more comforting to lie in bed and watch a good movie (or even a bad one) than trying to assimilate with these fuckers, you are wasting your time!

It is like trying to teach a Tortoise to run 100 metres in 5 seconds...it will not happen!

If ever you notice, they come into your home, yes, you can be friendly and welcoming, but at the end of the day, they still look at you like that bit of shit left on the end of the stick!

[DrAndy]

they still look at you like that bit of shit left on the end of the stick!

in your house that is called a kebab

[Chairman Mao]

A poor man's Miggins innit.

Maybe get him back on here. Why did he leave anyway?

[nigelandjan]

It must run in the family, somehow, I remember my younger brother when we were kids (7 and 4) he used to pick his ass every night and smear the shit on the walls.

I hope it wasnt during that period in the early 70,s when Artex decorative bark was all trendy

[nigelandjan]

the wife is up to her tits in shit,

Brother over for the wet season ?

[nigelandjan]

A poor man's Miggins innit.

Don,t know about that , if somone told me Somtum was muti I would,nt argue ,,,,,,, who gives a flying f,, who ever it is he,s cheering my day up bless him ,,

[kingwilly]

The inlaws must love you.

[Fondles]

don't forget to loosen the break cables next time you let them use the car.

Brake cables ?

Brake cables

On a car ?

[nidhogg]

the wife is up to her tits in shit,

Brother over for the wet season ?