Thread: Australians

Originally Posted by njdesi

But what is the reason you can't talk to an Aussie about their pets?

I think it's because they're better looking and more intelligent than most of their women, so Aussie guys tend to get very 'attached' to them,

G'day Sport

Let me try and clear up a few of your concerns me old cobber

Originally Posted by njdesi

what is the reason you can't talk to an Aussie about their pets?

Some are very intimate with their four legged friends, some Aussie rugby player even taught one how to perform Fellatio

They also worry about some "brown bastard" eating their pet

Originally Posted by njdesi

They can be quite touchy about animals

Some are quite touchy about being spotted with their zipper undone too

Originally Posted by njdesi

Australia is known as the dumbest continent

I wouldn't go that far, most of them come from good stock

We have many intelligent posters on here, such as Loy Toy and erm erm Peter Pan

Originally Posted by njdesi

Technologically speaking, they're somewhat backward, as well

The Aussies on here won't like that.

The Aussies have some of the worlds finest innovaters.

They invented the boomerang and didgeridoo,Australian rules football and the notepad

Originally Posted by njdesi

What kind of people are there in Australia?" a trainee asked.

These kind

They invented the boomerang and didgeridoo,Australian rules football and the notepad




Hey you forgot the best invention





The wine cask!

Originally Posted by njdesi

Most Aussies apparently hate Indians.

Only the cab drivers,and call centre operators

Originally Posted by njdesi

"Australians drink constantly,"

Yes

Originally Posted by njdesi

If you call on a Friday night, they'll be smashed—every time

Yes again

Originally Posted by njdesi

brown bastards.

That goes for asians as well.

I think this bloke has nailed it,well done leky.

Originally Posted by sabaii sabaii

Some are very intimate with their four legged friends, some Aussie rugby player even taught one how to perform Fellatio

Is that a Beethoven movement?

Australia is one of the most multicultural places in the world, and regularly scores right at the top in terms of quality of life. Race relations are certainly not perfect, but seem considerably less fraught than in the US, UK, France etc.

I'n sure we can save time though and learn all about it from an Indian call centre training course.

Originally Posted by njdesi

But what is the reason you can't talk to an Aussie about their pets?

No idea. First I've heard of it.

Originally Posted by njdesi

Is this true?

Very much doubt it.

Originally Posted by njdesi

let's admit: They are quite racist.

Yes, many are.

She also forgot most Australians have no idea of manners, preferring instead to spout the "call a spade a spade" or a "I'm straight up, what you see is what you get" mantra.

Originally Posted by njdesi

But what is the reason you can't talk to an Aussie about their pets? Is this true?

Jeez we can have some fun with this one Eh but where to start.

Last time I was speaking to my Kelpie he said to me,

Terry, I realize I'm only a dog but those Indians call center workers smell like shit and must be the ugliest bastards on the face of gods earth and further more those Pommy bastards are a tad sussed as well.

I replied :

Yes mate you are spot on but don't worry about it as us Australians are far superior to those heathens and there only jealous, you would be as well if you lived in there shitty countries.
Woff Woff Terry, thanks for that.

Shouldn't this thread be in the Lounge or even Members ?

I'm a bit disappointed terry i thought the poms & yanks on here would have taken to this thread like ducks to water.

I shouldn't mention water that will keep the poms away.

^

Yes mate, the thing is Australians are well versed in the piss take and revel in these threads where as other nationalities tend to get a bit sad when someone takes the piss.

Touchy bastards ain't they.

Friggin great to be us innit.

Originally Posted by terry57

Friggin great to be us innit

My fur coat mate.

Originally Posted by bobo746

I'm a bit disappointed terry i thought the poms & yanks on here would have taken to this thread like ducks to water.

I shouldn't mention water that will keep the poms away.

OZ bashing is like Yank bashing and it's been done on here ad nasaum.

Aborigines

Aborigines became Convicts for either defending their home or cultural misunderstandings. Warriors such as Yagan, Pelmulwuy and Musquito were outlawed for enforcing Aboriginal law. Yagan and Pelmulwuy were eventually beheaded whilst Musquito was transported to Tasmania where he again made trouble and was then executed.

Other Aborigines came before the law due to cultural misunderstandings. In nomadic societies, there was no concept of individual possession rather what is owned by friends is owned by all. Consequently, the Aborigines frequently walked off with any European item that held their interest. Subsequently, many officials found it ironic that they had established a penal colony amongst the greatest thieves on earth.

Convict Crimes

Piracy

In 1827, a small ship manned by nine Greek sailors robbed a British ship bound for Malta . The Greeks were later caught, and brought to trial. In their defence, the Greeks argued that, under international law, they had been entitled to intercept and rob a vessel destined for a port occupied by Turkey; their enemy. Initially, the men were sentenced to death, but concern about the validity of the English laws led to seven of the men being sent to Australia instead.

Machine breakers and swing rioters

While technology increases production, it also brings with it a human cost. In the 1830s, the introduction of threshing machines coincided with a series of difficult growing conditions and poor harvests. These machines took away the winter employment for ploughmen who were already doing it tough.

Threshing machines were soon attacked while a mythical “Captain Swing” started sending threatening letters to farmers and manufacturers if the machinery wasn’t removed and wages increased. Rioting eventually broke out, with the troublemakers being tried as “machine breakers” or “swing rioters”.

Irish rebels

In 1690, Catholic Ireland was conquered by Protestant England. The English subsequently passed laws that Catholics could not vote, could not enter university, could not be members of Parliament, could not own a gun, could not travel more than 5 miles from home and could not teach in Protestant schools. Three-quarters of the Irish land was owned by the English Protestants who rented it to the Irish farmers. If rent was not paid, bailiffs would take anything moveable such as livestock or furniture and then evict the family. To survive, many Irish were forced to a life to crime. Other Irish struggled to realise political change. In March 1798 Ireland was declared to be in a state of insurrection. Under the Insurrection Act, Magistrates and Military Officers were empowered to arrest and punish, by death or otherwise, according to their discretion, people committing treasonable acts or even suspected of treason. An Indemnity Act protected them from suits for illegal acts committed by them in suppressing a rebellion, so that many thousands were, without any judicial trial or investigation, flogged, tortured, transported or executed.

Tolpuddle Martyrs

The Tolpuddle Martyrs were six men from the Village of Tolpuddle in England who were transported in 1834 for trying to form a union. They were:George Loveless; James Loveless; Thomas Standfield;John Standfield; James Hammet; James Brine.

Scottish Martyrs

The Scottish Martyrs were five men who promoted the ideals of the French revolution: liberty, equality and fraternity. For promoting these views they were transported to Australia. They were:Maurice Magarot;Thomas Muir; Thomas Fyshe Palmer;William Skirving;Joseph Gerrald.

Naval mutineers

Life was difficult for sailors in the 18th century. They could be flogged without reason, food was scarce and pay almost non-existent. It had been said that 'being a sailor in a ship is being in goal with the chance of being drowned. 'Mutinies were usually dealt with by hangings. Occasionally; however, the mutineers were sent to Australia. One notable mutineer was a surgeon by the name of Dr William Redfern.

Canadian Rebels

In 1837, a group of Canadian rebels staged an uprising to achieve reform. 29 were executed and 149 were transported to Australia.

The Chartists

The chartists were a group of about 60 people from Monmouthshire in England who had drawn up a list of changes they wanted made to the political system. The list included an idea that everyone should be given a vote, that voting should be by ballot and Parliamentary members should be paid. (The system of the time only allowed rich men who didn't have to earn a living to enter Parliament.) For creating this list, the Chartists were transported to Tasmania.

Black South Africans

From 1828 to 1834 South Africa deported many blacks that were not political prisoners, but had transgressed the white South African laws.

Pickpockets

Often the pickpockets were well organised gangs that targeted social gatherings of the rich and famous. In a crowd, the pickpocket's victim would not feel a hand relieving them of their valuables. As soon as the item was stolen, it would be passed to an assistant (often an elegantly dressed lady) who would hurry to another part of town.

Orphans

Convicts as young as 10 were transported to Australia. Such children had no parents, no homes and no schools hence took to a life of crime to survive.

Aristocrats

Some eccentric noblemen from England 's establishment were transported. These included:

James Hardy Vaux - An eccentric who despite acknowledging the folly of his ways, found it impossible to resist the temptation to break the law;
Francise Greenway - Short fused architect who rubbed people the wrong way;
James Grant- Discharged a weapon in a gentleman's 'duel' after his honour had been tainted;
Sir Henry Brown Hayes - A knight and sheriff of Cork who kidnapped a lady and forced her to marry him.
Women

The Convict women were usually reported to have been low-class women, foul mouthed and with loose morals; however, this was not always the case. Often women would commit crimes deliberately to be able to join their husbands in the colony. Punishments for women included an iron collar fastened round the neck or having her head shaved as a mark of disgrace. Often these punishments were for moral misdemeanours, such as being 'found in the yard of an inn in an indecent posture for an immoral purpose'.Women would often intentional offend the authorities by bearing their back side or name the priest when asked who the father was of their child.

Servants

In a house of nobility, if an item went missing or was misplaced, the servant was usually blamed. Convictions were assured even when there was a lack of evidence. Other servants formed relationships with their masters and were accused of theft when the master wanted the relationship to end.

Originally Posted by bobo746

Originally Posted by njdesi

Most Aussies apparently hate Indians.

Only the cab drivers,and call centre operators

Originally Posted by njdesi

"Australians drink constantly,"

Yes

Originally Posted by njdesi

If you call on a Friday night, they'll be smashed—every time

Yes again

Originally Posted by njdesi

brown bastards.

That goes for asians as well.

I think this bloke has nailed it,well done leky.

I second Bobo on all of the above.
You cant hate them all, at the end of the day we need them.
Who will work in our service stations and or wash our cars for us at the shopping centre while we are shopping?

^
Not to mention who'd cook the curries.

Convict Crimes


The Chartists

The chartists were a group of about 60 people from Monmouthshire in England who had drawn up a list of changes they wanted made to the political system. The list included an idea that everyone should be given a vote, that voting should be by ballot and Parliamentary members should be paid. (The system of the time only allowed rich men who didn't have to earn a living to enter Parliament.) For creating this list, the Chartists were transported to Tasmania.



Correction. Monmouthshire is in Wales, not England. Cheeky bar-stewards.

^Between the 16th and 20th centuries there was some ambiguity as to whether the county was part of Wales or England, but since 1974 the area has been placed definitively in Wales

Originally Posted by Sir Wilson

... preferring instead to spout the "call a spade a spade" or a "I'm straight up, what you see is what you get" mantra.

In the states we call that being honest...

Originally Posted by Boon Mee

OZ bashing is like Yank bashing and it's been done on here ad nasaum.

Bollocks! Ozzies have fun with it when they are being bashed. Yanks get their panties in a bunch.

Half of Asian families with money (especially India) sends its kids to Aussie for a western education. It is a major industry even with the AUD tipping the scales at US$1.07. Aussies are enquiring and friendly and in general not racist. They do 'call a spade a spade' and will not take any hostility from the migrants who call Aussie home - hence the Cronulla riots. Aussies main claim to pissing people off is banging on about how great Aussie is but it is true so what are you gonna do.

Here a aussie with his mate blue