Thread: A Day in the Life - An Issan Labourer

I've been studying these creatures; almost to the point of infiltration. What makes them tick? Are they contented with their lot? Are they fucking suicidal? Do they go shopping in Tesco Lotus? What are views on the current political situation? Do they understand the concept of 'the world'? Are they aware that they smell like the contents of cesspit?

One must delve deep in order master the minds of such specimens; thus I have taken it upon myself to loiter in close proximity in order to fully understand the workings of these folk.

Here's a short briefing of my findings:

6.00am: Get up, inspect surroundings to make sure you're in the correct dwellings.

6.02am: Stand up, walk to the door, puke guts up outside into the street. Said act of vomitting may cause small to medium leakages of large intestines onto underpants. Nil desparandum; it will dry.

6.05am: Stagger to the nearest purveyor of rice whiskey and part with 25 baht for a M150 bottle full.



6.30am: After consuming the contents of the bottle, still only semi clothed in a loin cloth and pair of 2 thousand year old flip-flops, talk incomprehensible bollocks to anyone that might suggest they'd give you the time of day.

7.00am: Your better half reminds you that rice doesn't grow on trees, it grows in paddies, so get your fucking arse back here and dress for work.



7.30am: After battering your face on the wall whilst trying to put your trousers on standing up, you reach for your blue wellington boots slip them on and go outside ready to spend another 25 baht before being met at the shop by your employers.

7.45am: Clamber into the back of a battered up old pick-up and continue to talk shite with your colleagues who are in a similar state as yourself. The banter flows like a river. It's going to be a great day again.

8.00am: Arrive at the corn field, finish bottle of rice whiskey, puke again, start chopping, peeling husks from corn and placing in Hessian sack. Safe in the knowledge that one sack can provide enough money for the days alcohol.

9.00am: Pass out and go to sleep for three hours.

12.00pm: Eat sticky rice from pot which wife provided, hunt around the jungle for something to accompany it. Ah, one of these will do..


And if you could just regain your vision for a few moments you might be able to get hold of one of these wee chaps..



Nothing like washing your papaya and rice down with a rat buttock..

3.00pm: You've successfully managed to fill two large hessian sacks full of corn which will reap you the princely sum of 80 baht. Oops, best fill other one to keep her indoors happy.

5.00pm: Three sacks now ready for collection and you humbly collect your 120 bt..bowing as you accept it from your supervisor.

5.00pm + 5 seconds: You make your excuses, head for the nearest alcohol retail outlet and order a 10 bt shot of the rice whiskey.

6.00pm: Give her indoors 60 baht and head off to your usual spot where you intend to drink until you are no longer in control of your bodily functions.

ADD INFINITUM

In other words I can conclude that they are all a happy bunch of relentless alcoholics.

When in Rome and all that..

All pussys if you ask me the lot of them..why every time they have a shot of thai whisky they have to have a glass of water to wash it down !!

Originally Posted by welshtaffia

why every time they have a shot of thai whisky they have to have a glass of water to wash it down !!

Ahh, you've obviously been observing the rookies at work. Find an old boy and he'll show you how it's done.

Originally Posted by welshtaffia

brought over some absinthe

Bloody good idea. Feed it to the shop owner then loot the gaff..

Originally Posted by somtamslap

Originally Posted by welshtaffia

brought over some absinthe

then loot the gaff..

What would you do with 500 packets of noodles and 1,000 packets of washing powder?

When does he time to vote??

^^ eat and wash clothes with them..both are compatible for each job after the correct quotient of lau kau/meths.

Originally Posted by somtamslap

6.05am: Stagger to the nearest purveyor of rice whiskey and part with 25 baht for a M150 bottle full.

25 baht, what a ripoff. You can buy a full clear plastic bag (approx 450mls) worth up North for 20 baht. Or do you get 15 baht for returning the M150 bottle with it's label intact?

Originally Posted by crippen

When does he time to vote??

You can't buy Alcohol on polling days

Get the name right mate Its issarn tequila

Originally Posted by DroversDog

You can buy a full clear plastic bag (approx 450mls) worth up North for 20 baht

You must be in dog eating territory?

Originally Posted by DroversDog

Originally Posted by crippen

When does he time to vote??

You can't buy Alcohol on polling days

Allegedly

nice story and pics keep it cumming

good anthropology study somtamslap
will you been chronicling the issan womans day too ?

Originally Posted by blue

good anthropology study somtamslap
will you been chronicling the issan womans day too ?

Don't you mean working night