How do you tell someone "They're too old to drive?"

**Jesus Jones** · 16-12-2010, 02:08 PM

How they feck do you tell the father-in-law he's too old to drive.

The wife picked her new car up 3 weeks ago, and i suggested not to let her father keep a hold of the spare key as he will drive it. I said to her that my next comment will be "I told you so".

While she was working away (Traveled by plane) i thought to myself, "should i take the new car" as a knew he wouldn't try to drive the pajero as it's a struggle to get it out of the drive. This was spinning around in my head during the two days while she was away.

Anyway, when she returned on the Friday i noticed the car was parked at an angle, and as i was the last to drive i was sure i didn't park it that way. I commented to my wife that i think he has been moving it around, but she didn't think so. The next day we decided to drive down to Pattaya to visit a friend; my wife offered to drive. When we arrived at our friends, and on exiting the car, my wife noticed that all down the side of the rear and front passenger door was scraped. We were both confused as we'd only stopped at a 7-11 from BKK, and a this point the car had just over 200kms on the clock. We picked it up from the dealer, from there it had been sat in the drive for 2 days up until this point.

I put 2 and 2 together and as much as my wife denied that her 85 year old father drove the car, this was the only conclusion i had. When we arrived home the first thing i did was to inspect the wall where it was likely to happen, and Hey presto, white paint on the corner of the wall.

So, how the fuck do you tell someone they are too old to drive, as my wife doesn't want to say anything?

The really irritating thing now, is the father has had the wall knocked down where he scrapped the car, which to me says he has intentions of driving it again. This is fucking annoying as i'm trying to work my way and improve things around the home and he's had someone just bash the corner out without finishing it off.

Divorce is lurking around the corner!

**Travelmate** · 16-12-2010, 02:17 PM

Vote with your feet & leave.
Tell wife it him or you.

**DrAndy** · 16-12-2010, 02:29 PM

Originally Posted by Jesus Jones

So, how the fuck do you tell someone they are too old to drive, as my wife doesn't want to say anything?

you don't need to if the spare key goes missing

**Stinky** · 16-12-2010, 02:30 PM

^Plain to see your stones are made of jello Doc.

You can't feel Sheepish on this one JJ, just tell the old coot straight and honest, if he don't like it tough shit, you can't wait for him to kills some poor bastard can you.

**Mr Earl** · 16-12-2010, 02:31 PM

That first scratch on a new vehicle is always the most painful.
What will be will be.
Get over it!
It's just a scratched up used truck, now you can go get it muddy!

Smile you're living in the LOS.

**Norton** · 16-12-2010, 02:32 PM

Originally Posted by DrAndy

you don't need to if the spare key goes missing

Makes sense to me. No key, no drive.

**Jesus Jones** · 16-12-2010, 02:34 PM

Originally Posted by Travelmate

Vote with your feet & leave.
Tell wife it him or you.

Joking aside, it may end that way.

Only yesterday he had one side of a raised tiled decor smashed out that surrounds a tree in the drive as he was concerned the front wheel might catch the corner, there was plenty of room. Whoever has done the work as replaced it with still flat-bar that rises about 2 inch above the surround to hold the soil back.

It's a shame he didn't show this much concern for the pajero, but i'm paying for that!

**Jesus Jones** · 16-12-2010, 02:35 PM

Originally Posted by Mr Earl

That first scratch on a new vehicle is always the most painful.
What will be will be.
Get over it!
It's just a scratched up used truck, now you can go get it muddy!

Smile you're living in the LOS.

It's not a used truck, it's a 2 day old Mazda 3 sport.

**Jesus Jones** · 16-12-2010, 02:39 PM

Originally Posted by Norton

Originally Posted by DrAndy

you don't need to if the spare key goes missing

Makes sense to me. No key, no drive.

That's one way but the loss in face wouldn't go down i'm sure.

It's annoying as the whole purpose of the car was for my wife to travel to work. Picking her up put an extra 2 hours traveling time for me.

However, getting used to living with someone's parents is harder that I foresaw. I've been by myself since 18 and having to bow down to an older person just because of their age is becoming extremely frustrating.

**Norton** · 16-12-2010, 02:40 PM

Originally Posted by Jesus Jones

Only yesterday he had one side of a raised tiled decor smashed out that surrounds a tree in the drive as he was concerned the front wheel might catch the corner

Sounds as if the old boy is given far to much leeway to do exactly what he pleases at the house. Time for your missus to make clear it is your/her home and he's not to do shit without asking first.

**Norton** · 16-12-2010, 02:42 PM

Originally Posted by Jesus Jones

That's one way but the loss in face wouldn't go down i'm sure.

Your call mate. Loss of face or loss of car, wall, and who knows what next.

**Mr Earl** · 16-12-2010, 02:45 PM

Originally Posted by Jesus Jones

, it's a 2 day old Mazda 3 sport.

Not any more, nope, it's used scratched up junk now.

Have some empathy for the poor old guy, he's just trying eek out a little joy in his last moments here.

I'm sure that little old scratch will buff right out.

You got insurance on the thing right! It's just a car.

**Jesus Jones** · 16-12-2010, 02:53 PM

Originally Posted by Norton

Originally Posted by Jesus Jones

That's one way but the loss in face wouldn't go down i'm sure.

Your call mate. Loss of face or loss of car, wall, and who knows what next.

True, as the nutter was discussing knocking half of the main support for the balcony above. I took some time to get through to him that if half of the thickness is chamfered out, he'll be looking at rebuilding the balcony and bedroom above!

His hording is bad enough.

**Davis Knowlton** · 16-12-2010, 02:55 PM

State trooper drove up to my Grandmother's house in rural New Hampshire. He said, "Ma'am, my first job as a new trooper was to administer to you your first 'over 60' driving retest. I am now retiring after 30 years. Why don't you and I hang it up together?" Amazingly, my 90 year old grandmother surrendered her keys without argument. Lived another 14 years.

**Jesus Jones** · 16-12-2010, 02:56 PM

Originally Posted by Mr Earl

Originally Posted by Jesus Jones

, it's a 2 day old Mazda 3 sport.

Not any more, nope, it's used scratched up junk now.

Have some empathy for the poor old guy, he's just trying eek out a little joy in his last moments here.

I'm sure that little old scratch will buff right out.

You got insurance on the thing right! It's just a car.

It is just a car i agree, but the car was the boiling point of many things. I kind of feel like my opinion doesn't count for anything in the home. Before marriage I agreed to live with my wife and her parents, on the agreement that they could also adjust too. Not change, but reach a middle ground.

**aging one** · 16-12-2010, 02:59 PM

Sadly JJ the wife will never chose you over her father. This is Thailand. Went through this with my wifes mom. It only ended when she passed away RIP.

**S Landreth** · 16-12-2010, 03:05 PM

If they have any conscience or care for their fellow man/woman do the same thing I did when I told my grandmother she was too old to drive.

She had come to me one morning and told me a short story about how she had a hard time driving (because of her sight) home the day before and she said this had been ongoing and getting worse as time went by.
She was asking me, what I thought (she was a stubborn woman and didn’t want to give up any of her independence).

I told her, it was alright if she had an accident and only hurt/killed herself, but I asked her, how would you feel if you hurt (or killed) anyone else because she herself knew she shouldn’t be behind the wheel.

She never drove again, after that day.

**Jesus Jones** · 16-12-2010, 03:07 PM

^Yeah, i understand that. To be honest i'm thinking of renting my own place even if it's just to use 2-3 times a week. I travel around 150km a day to work so i might just do that as it'll probably ease the stress between my wife an I. We did actually talk about it before due to the distance prior to these events.

This issues is new, but the harder issue is his constant hording of items he'll never use or sell. I clear one space, he fills another.

**Spin** · 16-12-2010, 03:16 PM

An 85 year old man who cannot come to you and say "sorry but i scraped the car"

Pathetic old coont, have the fucking waste of space shot.

**Mr Earl** · 16-12-2010, 03:20 PM

Originally Posted by Jesus Jones

. I travel around 150km a day to work so i might just do that as it'll probably ease the stress between my wife an I.

That's a pretty big commute.

Living with the in laws has to be challenging.

A far as the scratch on the new car, that would have tweeked me too I have to admit.

This certainly is sensible advice:

Originally Posted by Landreth

I told her, it was alright if she had an accident and only hurt/killed herself, but I asked her, how would you feel if you hurt (or killed) anyone else because she herself knew she shouldn’t be behind the wheel.

**The Master Cool** · 16-12-2010, 03:21 PM

Poison him.

**Jesus Jones** · 16-12-2010, 03:22 PM

^^Actually, that is the other thing that bothered me. When my wife pointed it out he was like a 12 year old kid.

**Jesus Jones** · 16-12-2010, 03:26 PM

Prior to the pajero and the mazda, my wife had a CR-V. The twat took that out for a drive and though it was funny that he drove down the wrong side of the road. I don't mean some lazy twat that can't be arsed to make a U-turn. He's one of these old codgers with the coppers behind him flashing the lights and bursting their horns but he's totally oblivious.

He's a danger to himself and others!

**Moonraker** · 16-12-2010, 03:38 PM

Good god man.

Grow a pair and have words. It IS NOT OK for anybody to take your car and start smashing/scratching it up.

**Stinky** · 16-12-2010, 03:43 PM

Originally Posted by Jesus Jones

Prior to the pajero and the mazda, my wife had an CR-V. The twat took that out for a drive and though it was funny that he drove down the wrong side of the road. I don't mean some lazy twat that can't be arsed to make a U-turn. He's one of these old codgers with the coppers behind him flashing the lights and bursting their horns but he's totally oblivious.

He's a danger to himself and others!

Well that pretty much settles it don't you think, who do you think is going to end up with egg on their face if he drives throgh a shop window or mounts a pavment and hits someone, your car remember.
Tell him straight and put an end to it.

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