Thread: The best quotes ever

Lady Astor and Winston Churchill.

Lady Astor: "Mr. Churchill, you're drunk!" Winston Churchill:
"Yes, and you, Madam, are ugly. But tomorrow, I shall be sober."

To Russell Harty "How long have you been happily married then?"
Keith Moon

Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game and dumb enough to think it's important.
Eugene McCarthy

Someone said, "Football's a matter of life and death" - but it's more important than that.
Bill Shankly

I tried to charm the pants off Bob Dylan, but everyone will be disappointed to learn that I was unsuccessful. I got close - a couple of fast feels in the front seat of a Cadillac.
Bette Midler

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Mae West

A leader is a dealer in hope.
Napoleon Bonaparte

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on

Sir Winston Churchill

"The Jews, I find are very, very selfish. They care not how many Estonians, Latvians, Finns, Poles, Yugoslavs or Greeks get murdered or mistreated as displaced persons as long as the Jews get special treatment. Yet when they have power, physical, financial or political neither Hitler nor Stalin has anything on them for cruelty or mistreatment to the under dog."

Harry S. Truman

Germany will either be a world power or will not be at all.
Adolf Hitler

Most rock journalism is people who can't write, interviewing people who can't talk, for people who can't read.
Frank Zappa

It will be long............it will be hard............there will be pain and there will be bloodshed...................but there will be no withdrawal ~ Winston Churchill addressing his fellow Brits at the start of the Battle of Britain.

Kevin Keegan quotes and football 'wisdom'

"I'd love to be a mole on the wall in the Liverpool dressing room at half-time."

"I'm not disappointed - just disappointed."

"We managed to wrong a few rights."

"There's a slight doubt about only one player, and that's Tony Adams, who definitely won't be playing tomorrow."

"The ref was vertically 15 yards away."

"The good news for Nigeria is that they're two-nil down very early in the game..."

"There'll be no siestas in Madrid tonight."

"Batistuta is very good at pulling off defenders."

"The Germans only have one player under 22, and he's 23."

"You can't do better than go away from home and get a draw."

"My father was a miner and he worked down a mine."

"They're the second best team in the world and there's no higher praise than that."

"One of his strengths is not heading."


mirrorfootball

You can't separate peace from freedom because no one can be at peace unless he has his freedom.
Malcom X

"A game played behind closed doors is not worth watching" - GRAHAM TAYLOR

"The Old Firm derby never disappoints, but I've been disappointed with the game today" - CHARLIE NICHOLAS

"He's had major knee surgery on his knees" - RONNIE IRANI

"Tiredness is an easy excuse but I won't use it. Today wasn't Andrew Surman's best game but he's suffering from fatigue like a lot of our players" - MARK WOTTE

"Ronaldo has got 10 goals already, and I expect him to get into double figures" –
ANDY RITCHIE

"At this stage of the season it's not just about improving, it's about getting better" - RAY PARLOUR

"It's 1-0 to United but they really should be ahead" - IAIN DOWIE

"Robbie Keane was like the cat that got the cheese"ï - STAN COLLYMORE

"There's only a limited number of places in the top six" - MICKY QUINN

"The ambition of an England manager should be to become England manager" - GRAHAM TAYLOR

"Pepe Reina must be tearing his hair out" - GRAEME SOUNESS

2-0 is a cricket score in Italian football. - Alan Parry

Never go for a 50-50 ball unless you’re 80-20 sure of winning it. - Ian Darke.

After a goalless first half, the score at half time is 0-0. - Brian Moore.

Family Guy

Peter (after Lois tells him he's childish): "If I'm a child that means you're a pedophile, and I'll be damned if I’m going stand here and take this from a pervert."

Peter: Ok, here's another riddle. A woman has two children. A homicidal murderer tells her she can only keep one. Which one does she let him kill?
Brian: That's... that's not a riddle. That's ... that's just terrible.
Peter: Wrong, the ugly one!

Peter: Gays don't vomit. They're a very clean people. And they have been ever since they came to this country from France.

Quagmire: I felt guilty once, but she woke up halfway through.

"You just redeemed yourself with a Family Guy quote Jackmeoff. You were close to a red then."

-The Fresh Prince

"Try acting. . . It's much easier!"
Laurence Olivier jokingly to Strasbergian Method actor Dustin Hoffman, after Hoffman deprived himself of sleep for two days preparing for the famous "Is it safe?" scene in Marathon Man.

"I know lying is wrong, but if the elephant man came in now in a blouse with some make up on, and said "how do I look?" Would you say, bearing in mind he's depressed and has respiratory problems, would you say "go and take that blusher off you mis-shapened elephant tranny"? No. You'd say "You look nice... John"" – Alan partridge

"Guide dogs for the blind. It's cruel really, isn't it? Getting a dog to lead a man round all day. Not fair on either of them." - Alan partridge

“If a person offends you, and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures; simply watch your chance and hit him with a brick.”


Mark Twain

"Reminds me of our expedition to the wilds of Afghanistan. We lost the cork screw, and were compelled to live on food and water for several days"........
WC Fields.

"How fortunate for governments, that the people they govern, don't think." - Adolf Hitler

“It is a misfortune to human nature when religion is given by a conqueror. The Mahometan religion, which speaks only by the sword, acts still upon men with that destructive spirit with which it was founded." -- - Montesquieu

“Quemadmoeum gladuis neminem occidit, occidentis telum est.” (A sword is never a killer, it is a tool in the killer’s hands.) -- Lucius Annaeus Seneca, circa 45 AD