My Mate Gave This Letter To His Wife

[bangkokexpats1]

So I've had all I can stand. How is it marriage allows you to take someone sexually hostage? Where the do American women get off dictating what is an appropriate amount of sex? I have seen the scenario unfold many times. You meet a guy and you fuck non stop for months. Both were satisfied by the quality of sex and both agree that it will always be this way. In fact the guy is assuming this is a cornerstone of the relationship and takes this into consideration when he offers you a huge ring you did nothing to deserve.

Let me take a different tact, if it costs $8,000 for a ring for 1 or 2 years of porn star sex so be it, just lay it out there, get it on the table that it's a negotiable contract that comes due every couple years. You agree to be the nasty fuck toy we fell in love with and we will buy you another ring or other appropriate trinket. that's fair isn't it? But no... it doesn't work out like that. Half a dozen years into your marriage you just don't have time anymore. What used to be a fun quickie on the bathroom counter now is just a pain in the ass. Hmmm where did we go wrong, how did mankind get duped like this? How can we warn the young men who are about to make the fatal mistake of putting a ring on your spoiled American finger. We have been married 6 years you have had sex with me 12 times this year. Three of the last four times you said "I'm just going to lay here, I don't want to do anything. Just hurry up and get it over with". The final insult came last week when you said you hate dragging it out, you just want to get your "O" and be done with it. (this takes 5 minutes tops) I was empathetic for the first six years about how the anti depressants killed your sex drive, but enough is enough.

Let's do the math

5 minutes of sex 12 times a year is one hour of sex per year. ONE FUCKING HOUR... It used to be one hour or longer each time we had sex when we were dating. WHAT GIVES?
Lets compare that to the 8760 hours in a year. Yes almost 9 thousand hours in a year and you can barely be bothered to fuck for one of them? You should be arrested, you should be fined, you should be publicly humiliated. I am so sick of the spoiled, me me me attitude by today's American woman.

During the dating phase you told me all your hopes and dreams which mostly consisted of a nice home, kids, a dog, family holidays, vacations, etc. I told you I liked all that but wanted a car or a motorcycle or a boat to go along with it. You have all the things you wanted, never mind the mortgage is oppressive, the activities for the kids cost hundreds of dollars a month, you bitch constantly about how you hate the house you absolutely HAD to have years ago. You have a medicine cabinet full of Paxil, Effexor, vicodin, sleep pills, awake pills, everything but a fucking horny pill. You could have been born poor, you could have to work 75 hours a week and take care of the kids, and pay for the mortgage on your own but you don't. Instead you go to play group, you shop, you drive around looking at houses you dream of living in instead of the one you have. I can see how you don't have any time for sex. I mean after all the guy who sacrificed his own hopes and dreams to finance yours probably isn't worthy of some respect, admiration, and god forbid occasional sex.

The moral of the story is that it's just as much your fault as mine that I have taken a lovely Thai lady for a lover. She is everything your not. Do you remember when I took my last vacation with my brother and I told you that we were going scuba diving in Phuket, Thailand? It was a lie. Yes, we went to the beach and yes we went diving. Mostly we laid up in our hotel rooms having sex with some girls we met there. I met one beautiful, young, petite (unlike your extra large body) Thai girl there. Her personality is awesome and she is always smiling and laughing. She treats me so good and appreciates me for what I do for her. She is carefree, and she acts like a total slut because we have an understanding that I prize her above all things for just being her slutty self, not condemning her for it. It was a total vacation from everything you have become.

The funny thing is I would totally be there with you hand in hand praising you instead of her if you had only treated me like a human. If you had only show the slightest passion, if you would just quit trying to take any possible enjoyment out of life for me and everyone around you then maybe, just maybe we could have a good life.

So, by the time you get this letter, I will be on a plane to Thailand. Soon you will get divorce papers. Soon you will alone with the house and all the bills. You are on your own now. Soon I will be with my new Thai girl. Soon I will wipe any memory of you out of my mind. I hope my brother leaves that oppressive, Nazi that he is married to. He deserves to be happy too.

[diaw]

She got the house, children, cars & everything else he owned...

[Lily]

I'll bet she is cheering.

[William]

I bet she never even bothered to read the bloody thing. It's too long

[Butterfly]

Americam women: great for sportfucking, terrible wives

[DJ Pat]

I bet she never even bothered to read the bloody thing. It's too long

It's laid out crap. Split it into paragraphs and I may read.

[cali kid]

Well good for your mate, and maybe even good for his wife. judging by what the letter states she probably read saying "so what, so what, so what so what". But it also sounds like your mate might not realy realize just what he is getting into, and without that understanding he may find himself in even a worse position than before.

[Lily]

This is what Frankie calls 'a wall of words.'

[DJ Pat]

What is porn star sex?

[Skulldigger]

This site is untrollable, except for by religious fanatics.

[friscofrankie]

Far simpler;

Dear Bitch,
I've cleared out the bank account.
I hate you.

You can have the house.
I hate you.

You can have the car.
I hate you.
You can have the kids.
I hate you.

I'm going to Thailand

and fuck like a bunny
'till I run outta money

Did I mention I hate you because I don't turn you on any more?

[Lily]

Did I mention I hate you because I don't turn you on any more?

Did you mean to say that?

[Covertjay]

Nice one FF.

Irony is what elephants are hunted for lilly.

[friscofrankie]

Yep. Just paraphasing the dude's letter. (readnig between the lines, so to speak)
Been through four divorces. Lack sex was never the issue.

[Little Chuchok]

Been through four divorces. Lack sex was never the issue.

that's easy for you to say,what about them?

[friscofrankie]

Who cares???

[Little Chuchok]

^real bloke answer!

[DrAndy]

What is porn star sex?

I seem to remember you telling us you had a very big one DJPat

or was that your imagination?

[Spin]

Sounds like your mate either had a small cock or was being cheated on. Something like that. Running off to Thailand leaving silly notes behind is not a good idea unless you have transportable income sources or are financialy independant.
In 10 years time he could be just another Pattaya jumper writing another stupid note blaming Thai women for his "downfall".

Tell him to get a fucking grip

[Agent_Smith]

What used to be a fun quickie on the bathroom counter now is just a pain in the ass.

I would suggest Astroglide--what a marketing genius to come up with that name, eh.

[Bung]

He should keep a draft of that letter, he may need to give it to the "awsome" Thai girl he is running to in a few years.

[kingwilly]

certainly a little starry eyed re: thai wymin,

but

sex is important to relationships.

one of the (many) things that helped to dissolve my first marriage was the phrase

"i dread going to bed the same time as you because you will probably want sex"

you cannot get a much more crushing comment than that.

[Hootad Binky]

The Seven Year Itch is evolutionary; 5-7 years is about the amount of time relationships last because that is how long a woman needs a man around until a child is strong and viable enough to survive. Men are horny, women are choosy. For good reason!

Q: Why do women have orgasms?




Answer: Who cares?

[bradthai]

why do women have orgasms?
gives them another reason to moan.

[in4zip]

Far simpler;

Dear Bitch,
I've cleared out the bank account.
I hate you.

You can have the house.
I hate you.

You can have the car.
I hate you.
You can have the kids.
I hate you.

I'm going to Thailand

and fuck like a bunny
'till I run outta money

Did I mention I hate you because I don't turn you on any more?

Better still

Dear Bitch,
I've cleared out the bank account.
I hate you.

You can't have the house,
I've sold it (remember that clever lawyer I introduced you to
that made you sign some hard to read small print paper 555)
and I pocketed the money.
I hate you.

You can't have the car.
(ditto see same paper the nice lawyer had
you sign you dumb fat piece of brainless of lard)
I hate you.

You can have the kids.
(ditto see same paper the nice lawyer
had you sign re. alimony and child support
you dumb fat piece of brainless offal, they were
not mine anyway and if they were do keep
the spoilt spawn of Belzebub anyway)
I hate you.

I'm in Thailand now
and fucking like a bunny
'till I run outta money

Did I mention I hate you
because Noi weighs 50 kgs less than you,
has the same size brain but a much tighter
cvnt and just wants money
now and again to take care of some
sick animal back on the farm?