Anti-thaiophile demonsrations under way in Bangkok

[DJ Pat]

Anti-thaiophile convention under way in Bangkok

A huge demonstration in Bangkok against the newly formed 'thaiophile' brigade has got under way with several thousand foreign expatriates attending defiantly to defend their way of life against this new ever growing minority. Stalls were set up selling rancid street food and several go-go bars were operating peddling the skankiest slappers to many foreign customers who sat elbow to elbow playing connect four with the hordes of bargirls, many of whom were tempted out of retirement by the promise of further sponsors.

Other stalls around the BITEC included several pharmacies specialising in buffalo medicine, Western Union sponsored sinsot auctions and a mocked up gameshow to find the stupidest nationality of foreign males. Text and Talk opened a stall peddling teacher courses and many British themed pubs were selling food and beer at inflated prices.

Smaller companies at the event included several African companies offering brands of laxatives and a Russian businessman offering wolves dressed in sheeps clothing.

Visa run companies did big business and a thaivisa spokesman expressed his joy at the positive turnout. ''We are here to defend our way of life and endorse our ignorance. After years living here none of us can string a sentence together in Thai and we're proud of it. We won't have the wool pulled over the oppostions eyes, later on a few of us will be holding a coyote wives competition in Nana plaza''

Clothes stalls selling singlets, shorts and sandals reported huge sales and a tough competition called ''the holy grail'' was taking place where the winner would walk away with their very own normal Thai girl.

Numerous farang men attending were given a complimentary 'gift bag' which contained a mock framed laminated bargirl email and a CD recorded by top Udon Thani girl singers ''Lek & Nok''. Featured songs on the CD included anthems such as ''Show me the way to soi bu-kow'', ''Uptown bargirl'', ''All you need is lek'' and ''Sick buffalo soldier''.

Outside, a hardcore group of anti-thaiophiles were arrested by police for pelting crowds of farang-bargirl couples with rotten eggs. Hordes of honest taxi drivers offering regular metered fares were ordered to leave. Crowds of 'normal' Thai girls were also told to stay away from the event, which attracted huge numbers.

Bigger conventions are expected to take place within a few days in Pattaya, Udon Thani and Surin. Organisers Gary from Bolton and Alan from Rotherham are also planning a fund raising concert in aid of sick relatives at Tonys nightspot in Walking Street.

''We wanted to choose a venue where the normal falang would always go, and the money raised will benefit my wifes mother, who suffers from a broken heart''. Added Frankie from Accrington, who has lived in Pattaya since last tuesday.

[The Gentleman Scamp]

[Rural Surin]

The time for extermination is near.

[Spin]

''Sick buffalo soldier''.

I like that, were you there spinning the discs Pat?

[DJ Pat]

''Sick buffalo soldier''.

I like that, were you there spinning the discs Pat?

i was asked but they refused Smeg a work permit as he was my roadie.

[Spin]

I was asked but they refused Smeg a work permit as he was my rent-boy

Well it was always going to be on the list of restricted occupations in thailand!

[DJ Pat]

Wouldn't want to deprive the locals or the Thai tourist board.