Last night I was at a party in Patpong which was rubbish but towards the end I met a young black woman who was so attractive I started to cry.

The best girlfriend I ever had was Kenyan and the most attractive British girlfriend I had was mixed.

Seriously, you can keep your Thai women, the problem with Thai women is that they just can't stop being Thai. Nice as they are, give me a darkie any day, they are on the same wavelength as I, they keep it real and they understand xenophobia - AND they have the right curves and an unbeatable tan.

I don't know if this girl will call me or not, probably not - I am not handsome enough, but there must be more where she came from.

Any help appreciated.