Murphy's Law and Thai Drivers

[beenaroundawhile01]

You just have to laugh at some of the complete halfwits on the road here. Today, driving back home from Futer park, some of you may be famillar with this area, I was taking the Narkhon Nyok turn off when i hear some Idiot in the right lane blowing his horn and making all sorts of hand jestures. I look back, my first thought was he had an emergency and needed to get ahead, so ok, I give him a wave and complete the turn of and this idot comes flying up beside me, winds his window down an inch and proceeds to tell me in uncertain terms in thai that all falang drivers are fools and don't know thai road laws then makes a gesture of firing a gun in my direction. I found the whole "act" the most amusing thing i had seen all day. The young girl in his passenger seat seemed to be sinking under the dashboard by this stage. now, i am a pretty mellow person, and i am not sure if it was the lack of reaction or the sly smirk on my face, but this fool decides he needs to make a futher show of face and swings into my lane and clips the front quarter panel of my car and then desides to try to speed off while looking at me laughing. The fcuking idiot didn't see the stopped pick up infront of him and ploughs straight into the back of it. Hence pissed off pickup driver gets out of his car, (another 2 blokes jump out as well) and proceeds to pull said fcukwit out of his car and give him a once over. Cops show up pretty quick and break up the shitfight, get the story from the pickup driver and myself. Insurance guys show up, find out this fcukwit has no drivers licence and no insurance. By this stage the little hottie he had in the car has disappeared into a taxi. Now the funny thing about this story is about a week ago I hit a pole while parking in the same spot where he hit me and i was off to Toyota tommorow to get it fixed at my expence, so after all this Mr Fcukwit has just saved me 5000 B and gotten an ass kicking at the same time, not to mention the expence to him. What a day

[baldrick]

that intersection is all slip roads and elevated crossovers unless you are going straight to bangkok .

did you work out what it was that had gotten him excited ?

[Texpat]

great story.

Did you ever find out why he smashed into your car?

I mighta got a boot in with the others.

[blackgang]

Well it has been 10 minutes since I read the OP and I am now about setteled down enough to type, I think that is the best I have heard in a long time, now I will post this and go and wipe the tears out of my eyes again.
Thanks for the good news and a hearty laugh.

[kingwilly]

excellent story, there is a god after all!

[beenaroundawhile01]

I think what got him so excited was I was in his way and he wanted to do the thai thing and show his authority because he is thai. At a guess. silly fool.

[beenaroundawhile01]

I am guessing this fool had more money than sense and hit my car as a show of face to his fluffy sitting next to him, but i can only guess as to what goes though some peoples heads

[blackgang]

Couldn't have been a thought, Thai do not think, they do not have the mind for it, they react.
They only use their head to hold their nose so they can pick it and to keep their ears from rubbing together.

[EmperorTud]

I have dark window tints so they cannot see in.

There are some real idiots on Thai roads. Yeah, you get them in the West but here they are everywhere.

It's lack of driver training and lack of law enforcement to blame.

In this situation however it seems this idiot was actually threatening you for a minor infraction, I have seen similar and had similar things happen to me.

If you are in a situation similar to this then never stop as a small loss of face for some of these goons is enough for them to lose the plot and want to get violent, especially with a foreigner.

Most of the time when I have had a threat like that it is because I have sounded the horn to indicate or warn someone who was doing something either dangerous or stupid.

The last time I had a minor altercation with a Thai was in a building car-park in the centre of Bangkok and when I got back to the car I noticed a sign had been placed in front of the car and I was then approached by a Thai man in his 40's who started shouting that it was his parking space. I indicated I did not know and that I was leaving anyway while moving the sign. I kept smiling and cool at all times which seemed to frustrate him immensely as he kept on going apparently winding himself up. He then approached me in an aggressive manner so I stepped toward him ready and he must have thought the better of taking on a fitter and younger guy than himself and turned his tail and left still cursing in Thai.
I didn't want to escalate the situation as I use that car-park on a regular basis but I would have defended myself and my vehicle.

[Spin]

then makes a gesture of firing a gun in my direction.

Thats really naughty.

pickup driver gets out of his car, (another 2 blokes jump out as well) and proceeds to pull said fcukwit out of his car and give him a once over

Nice

I mighta got a boot in with the others.

Never join in, but I would have given those three guys a thousand baht and thanked them for doing my dirty work. All in earshot of said fuckwit.

[Happyman]

Was riding my little Honda (Click) sedately into town the other day when a door of a parked car was suddenly opened in front of me - about 15 ft away!
With thumb pressing horn button I missed it by a coat of paint.
At the next set of traffic lights the car pulled alongside-the windows were wound down and 2 Thais ( with their ladies sitting in the back) started yelling abuse-over the deafening sound of the car stereo.
I ignored them and they both got out of the car but then , thank goodness, the lights changed and I pissed off rather rapidly!
Same thing at the next set which were just turning green - I did the Thai thing and indicated a right turn - and turned left !
They did the Thai thing and cut across 2 lanes of traffic and turned left as well- I was a bit worried by now !
As luck would have it just a few yards down that road was an Ex-Pat bar that I sometimes go to, with an exclusive customer base of off shore rig workers and divers. BIG STRONG boys
I leapt off the bike and went in .
The wankers pulled up outside and started to yell again and all 4 got out .

The lads inside went outside .

The dickheads all got back in the car and went off with screaming tyres

According to the girl behind the bar the prats were furious because I - by sounding the horn at them - had caused them to lose 'face' in front of their girlfriends WTF!!!

We all know that if I had clipped the bloody door it would have been my bloody fault !

I like it here but will never understand the mindset of some of them !!!

[kmart]

Nice result for the OP. Should have bought a lottery ticket on the same day.?

I've had my share of run-ins with local dickhead drivers, my job involves doing quite a bit of driving around. Its usually best to have darker sunscreen film in the car, so the insect tailgating you doesn't necessarily know you ain't Thai either.

[TSR2]

Something similar happened to me in Chiang Mai . a tosser swerved left in front of me clipping my front wheel with his bike, Bozo a shouted and continued on, Next minute he is along side shouting in Enblish that he wants to fight me,
I said go away etc, he still rides along side threatening, OK I stop so does he, I walk towards him with my hand out in a freindly gesture, he approaches. then I kneed him hard in the stomach, left him doubled up on the deck, silly boy

[blackgang]

Whats all this face about, shit hole people in a shit hole country that can't even feed themselves unless they are eating a starvation diet of some rice and a lot of insects and fish and animal guts, have no pride and the culture they claim came from other places as well as their customs, have no guts for a fight, never raised a hand when the japs took em over and they said they sided with the japs and were slaughtered damn near as bad as the Chinese who at least put up some struggle, as did Singapore,
when the commies stated looking at the shit hole they got Uncle Sugar to come and bring a lot of bombs and planes and built airfields and bombed Thailands enemys, and now they are getting sassy again and so are fucking with Cambodia again and there will be no one to pull their chestnuts out of the fire this time.

[Texpat]

Almost got mowed down while crossing the street in a crosswalk in Udon Thani a few years back. The guy on the motorcycle circled around to come back and jibber jabber at me for not watching where I was going and waiting for a break in traffic.

I just laughed as he fumed.

Priceless.