I've been told some Whoppers and not of the MacDonalds kind. That's for sure.

Perhaps my favourite one went like this......

My live-in lover was emptying her purse when a pack of Condoms fell out!

"What are you carrying those for?" I asked.

" Oh! I not Buttelfy" she insisted " I scare be layped ".

"Scared of being Raped are you?" I asked heatedly.

" Da. An If I get layped, I can get HIV" She replied.

Puzzled I asked "Yeh. So why are you carrying Condoms, Pooch ?"

"If he go to rayp me, I tell him wear one!" She yelled.....

Anyone beat that???