Thread: Shall I stay up for election night?

WASHINGTON—As election day nears, millions of the nation's poorest voters have reportedly yet to settle on the most profound and enduring way to completely fuck themselves over when they head to the polls this year.

"On the one hand, I'm pretty sure Barack Obama will undermine my best interests by maintaining the same centrist, pro-corporate policies of previous Democratic administrations," said Jim Estey, 34, a recently laid-off assembly-line worker.

"Conversely, I agree with McCain and Palin on abortion, which might just balance out the fact that they'll further marginalize people like me by supporting deregulation and slashing social programs. So it's pretty much a toss-up at this point."

Though such behavior appears to directly undermine their own well-being, lower-income voters have historically supported candidates determined to screw them six ways to Sunday, including Bill Clinton, who incarcerated them in record numbers and cut the welfare benefits many depended on for day-to-day sustenance, and George W. Bush, who widened the gap between them and the rich and sent thousands of them to die in Iraq. This year's election is reportedly unique in that the nation's poor must not only weigh how deeply and painfully their chosen candidate will penetrate their rectums, but must also consider unforeseen outside circumstances—such as economic collapse and terrorism—that might allow the next president to bend them over and brutally rape them in ways they never thought possible.

The latest polls indicate that a majority of lower-class citizens might choose not to vote at all Nov. 4, preferring instead to leave the details of how they get fucked to the moneyed classes.

Struggling Lower-Class Still Unsure How Best To Fuck Selves With Vote | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

Surprise, surprise- it looks certain that Mccain has carried Kentucky.
Ditto, it looks certain Obamas got Vermont.

8 electoral votes to 3, Mccain leading. stay tuned.

Per CNN and NBC not a surprise, but a good start: Mark Warner wins.

The networks are being cautious calling the results. i'm going for a beer breakfast.
Reading between the lines, looking good for Obama, but no real surprise there either. Seems some 'Blue' states are pretty close run.

the results will go until late night, this is far too early, go to bed

Blue 78-Red 34

Blue 174-Red 49

One of the things I will be happy about if Obama wins is blacks can no longer claim they don't have the same opportunities the fuck Americans over as whites.

No more complaints about the "Man" holding the blacks back!

64 - 174 Obama

206 to 89.

How the hell did McCain get 89??!!

Democrats got control of the senate quite easily. Must've had more cash available to ensure that the democratic process still works in the US.

Originally Posted by Marmite the Dog

How the hell did McCain get 89??!!

hard core nutjob red necks in places like Kentucky...people like booner and Earl.

Originally Posted by ChiangMai noon

people like booner and Earl.

Aah, ok. Khao jai leaow!