Do you worry for your aged parents back home?

[The Gentleman Scamp]

My great aunt just peacefully died, adding to the collection upstairs... She now joins (in order of most recent) my best friend from school and college, my grandma (her sister) my other great aunt, my uncle (on my foster mothers side) my biological mother and my foster dad.

I have not heard anything from my mum for two weeks since she went to South Africa - a regular holiday spot. My biological father is now 74, his wife has had a cancer scare and all seem to be going to hospital more often.

I have not been back to the UK since August 2006, and that was only for a couple of days en route to my brothers wedding in Spain. I have not been to the Isle Of Wight (where all my biological family are from) since October 2005.

I can't really afford it, but I really should go back this year.

I know we TeakDoor members are of varying ages and many of you will have lost your parents already but does it trouble you that you are so far away from them in their last season?

If you have made a life for yourself here and suddenly your mum or dad is widowed, old and alone - what do you do?

[Marmite the Dog]

I'm not worried. My mum is 61 next week and has my sister near her as well as a good partner. She's in a better situation now than she has been for years.

[Texpat]

My parents are in a much better place/situation than I am.
It's them who worry for me.

[Dalton]

I moved my mother to Thailand 5 years ago, she's 77 years old now, my father died 28 years ago, I have no brothers or sisters (what I know of)

[buad hai]

Of course I worry a bit. My Dad is 84 this year and my Mom just turned 80. My Dad lives with his second wife who is about 70. They seem to be healthy and secure.

My Mom lives alone, but has lots of friends and my sister lives about a half hour away.

I communicate with my Mom almost daily via e-mail and weekly via the phone (Skype).

My Dad isn't on the Internet that much, but I hear from him about once a week.

I go back to visit them at least once a year. Next visit begins next week.

[blackgang]

Just heard yesterday that my 95 year old mother is in the hospital with pneumonia, she was coughing when I talked to her on the phone last week.
I just heard today that her heart is acting funny from all the coughing and one lung is full and one is half full and it is a chance that she will never leave the hospital.
Coarse it ain't like we get along and visit each other everyday, I have not been to her house since Desert storm, so thats some time ago, but she does send me Emails and talks on the PC2PC often, someone gave her my addy.
But it is a worry sometimes about friends and relatives back there, specially when you are as old as I am and everyone is also getting on in years.

[Marmite the Dog]

Just heard yesterday that my 95 year old mother is in the hospital with pneumonia, she was coughing when I talked to her on the phone last week. I just heard today that her heart is acting funny from all the coughing and one lung is full and one is half full and it is a chance that she will never leave the hospital.

Sorry to hear about your mum, you old coot.

[The Gentleman Scamp]

^ Seconded.

[Jet Gorgon]

Heart goes to you, too, BG. It's really tough worrying from afar.

My great aunt just peacefully died, adding to the collection upstairs... She now joins...my biological mother...

I have not heard anything from my mum for two weeks since she went to South Africa...

How many mums you got, Scamp?

[blackgang]

But still ya got to be realistic about it,, she will be 95 next week,, Jesus Christ, it is her time, I know most don't want to die, but when living loses the fun then I think it is better to die, and I am ready anytime as living has lost a lot of glamor,
I have lived during the best part of the human occupation of this planet, no pollution, freedoms to do what you wanted because of lower population density, good fishing, good camping, good hunting, kids were more free to go and do things they enjoyed with out worrying about being butt fucked or murdered,
And no matter what you say, I have lived thru the good part and only worse will come.

[obsidian]

sure.

[Troubled]

Mine both died 20 years ago so i no longer worry about them but eventhough i had no real relationship with them as an adult I miss them and probably think about them more now than i did when they were alive

[Happyman]

Both my parents departed this mortal coil many years ago- on a slightly different slant though I have a couple of grown up kids in UK who worry about this old fart living in Thailand !

[November Rain]

My Mum is the joint most important person in my life. She's back in UK now, 2 streets away from my sister, who has turned into a selfish cow & can't be relied on. Thankfully my Mum lives with her partner, a really lovely guy who I can trust implicitly to take care of her & put her first. He always does, bless him. I worry loads about her. She's diabetic (since she was 7) and has had & got through breast cancer twice. She is an amazing woman & I love her with all my heart. If anything serious happened to her, I would be on the next plane back.
My Dad died just over 5 years ago.

[stroller]

My dad will be 90 later this year, still kicking arse and telling the doctors to get stuffed.
My mother is a bit more of a concern, has ambitions to run their household all by herself at 84 and finds it more and more difficult.

Might have to bite the bullet and temporarily move back to Germany soon. Some here will be relieved, since I have no internet access there.

[AntRobertson]

Both my parents are relatively young. Healthy too. I don't worry enough what and how they're doing that the fequent calls from home checking on the grandkids haven't already become annoying.

[Dalton]

Might have to bite the bullet and temporarily move back to Germany soon. Some here will be relieved, since I have no internet access there.

You really think so....Nah..who would that be ???

[sesame]

Both have gone. Mum first.

My father, who I was very close to, told me I should not hang around on his account.

He had several nice holidays in Asia, and went fast, with a heart attack. A doctor, he had a horror of hospitals, so this was good. My brother told me he was looking at my photograph.

[Bluecat]

If you have made a life for yourself here and suddenly your mum or dad is widowed, old and alone - what do you do?

I take her/him with me in Thailand.
I told them many times.
I actually do not want to wait for one of them to die, I would like both of them to come to Thailand, winter time or longer if they want.

[MeMock]

I moved my mother to Thailand 5 years ago, she's 77 years old now)

How is she finding it?

Where does she live? Does she have similar aged westerners to hang out with or has she learnt Thai and spent time with them.

Sorry for all the questions, just found it interesting that someone would move their Mum to Thailand. She must like it if she has been there for 5 years!

[Spin]

^ Good questions, saved me asking them

does it trouble you that you are so far away from them in their last season?

Yes it does, at some point each week I have guilty feelings that i am being selfish for being so far away from them They're both getting on. My older brother lives at home with them at the moment though so he helps out if needed.

I cant wait to get back over to the uk for April, to see them and to avoid the foolishness that is Songkran here.

[blackgang]

Well it is 1800 in California now, I phoned my mom yesterday at the hospital and she didn't sound to good so I had better get off here and switch over to the phone and call her today before it gets to late there, her lungs is full of shit I guess and the coughing has done something to her heart.

[lom]

I have lived thru the good part and only worse will come.

It will be hot. Wear your asbestos..

[The Ghost Of The Moog]

1) Granny's gone, move on.

or.

2) You're all very selfish to move to the tropics, sitting there sunning yourselves and having sex with slappers, doing nothing more substantive than muck about on internet forums, while those who made sacrifices for you to bring you up and educate you are left back in the frozen north. Its all "self-self-self, me me me" isn't it. Mums can't go on strike you know.

[blackgang]

My Father and grandparents raised me most of the time, and I always worked on either my grandpa's ranch or someone else ranch every summer after I was 6 years old, always work that someone can do.
During school year I ran a trap line in the winter and picked up spuds during harvest, I really owe my mother nothing.
I grit my teeth and talk to her and try to be as civil as I can, but no one would ever get me to go and see her, and my sister who is past 70 was notified of her illness and will not phone her or talk to her.

But I only do what I do because I am such a sweet cuddly dude.
Thats why I will be going to heaven when I croak, and y'all will not be going with me, but to a very different place.



Well that is, If You Believe.