Thread: I feel bad...

I offended someone when I told this joke recently, what a cnut I am...............

I was in a pub and told the following joke:

What do you do if an epileptic has a fit in the bath?

Throw your clothes in so they get a wash.




Once the guffawing of my friends had died down, I became aware of a man on the other side of the bar, looking quite choked and talking to the landlord. The landlord came over to me and told me that the gentleman at the bar had recently lost his son and that my joke had offended him. I thought I should apologise. I approached the gentleman at the bar and offered my condolences for his loss and my apologies if my joke had upset him. He said that the joke had only got to him because his son was an epileptic and it was a fit which killed him.

I wondered as to how a fit could actually kill someone and the man said that his son had slipped and hit his head and that was what had killed him. I asked where his son had slipped and the man said it was in the bath. Well, I realised then how inappropriate my joke had been in the circumstances.

"Did your son hit his head on a tap then?" I asked.

"No," replied the man; "he choked on one of my socks".

My cousin has epilepsy, you bastard.

^ Don't need to make me feel worse than I already do, you swine...

My Aunties' nextdoor neighbours epileptic dog died after drinking water from the bath that had clothes detergent in it you bastard!

^... oh Jeezuz.... not the dog....

Yeah, you're an insensitive bastard. I hope you feel bad, 'Spot' (a bullmastive pitbull) was such a lovely chap.

Originally Posted by rawlins

Don't need to make me feel worse than I already do, you swine...

It's OK. My aunt uses one of those laundry bags for the 'smalls'.

^ Nice one... 'epileptic fit washing machine' health and safety at it's best there... Your Aunt is a good person.

^ the other upside is the washing powder whitens the skin

Originally Posted by baldrick

the other upside is the washing powder whitens the skin

I see another business opportunity coming up.
Can't say more now in case someone steals my idea

^ If you're thinking about flogging washing powder to desperate Thai girls (that have been convinced by societal pressure and ridiculous advertisements’ on TV where a bloke flicks on some studio lights giving the impression of instant whitenening) as a skin whitenening agent that would actually ultimately cause irreparable damage to the dermis then...

... Well you're to late. Bunch of Thai 'doctors' have the market cornered in fake (and ultimately harmful) beauty care products.

Thats terrible, but i dont understand why he was eating a sock

^ It's a common way of controlling epeleptic fits I think... Shove a sock in their gob...

I still feel bad.

its the dad who should feel bad if he put a sock in hos mouth, i know people say put a sock in it, but i dont think its the right thing to do if you're son is having a fit.

^ I don't know what the best thing would be to put in the sons mouth but I know that the Dad does feel bad... And so do I for joking about the condition down the pub and making all my mates guffaw loudly in front of the sock feeding Dad...

Originally Posted by tristram

its the dad who should feel bad if he put a sock in hos mouth, i know people say put a sock in it, but i dont think its the right thing to do if you're son is having a fit.

I'm sure I saw someone else say exactly the same thing a minute ago...

^ I saw that too.... very spooky... Maybe he deleted it out of consideration for the Dad....

Well what an insensitive mob of feckers you lot are! My missus saw this post and yep, she's an epileptic. Now she refuses to have a bath on wash days.

So am I....I get a fit every time the electric-bill arrives...

Expect it to get worse, I just saw the price of oil is predicted to rise to the double this year.

It's enough to go spastic.

There's too many bloody riggers wasting time on online forums instead of pumping gas so the rest of us can.

Originally Posted by Frankenstein

Expect it to get worse, I just saw the price of oil is predicted to rise to the double this year

That's gonna put me in a early grave...

I had an epileptic girlfriend once. The best she was. Just tie her arms and legs to the bedposts, wait until she has a fit and hop on.