Best way to travel in my opinion... Start the journey with a gaze out of the (open) window peering out over Bangkok shanties and small railside fires, listen to the 'ding.. ding.. ding.. ding..' as you rock and squeak over the level crossings and order a nice lab moo with a cold fried egg.

When the friendly staff come to transform your bed, go to the buffet car which is nice and windy and loud and meet your mates for a few beers and watch the burgundy tablecloths flip and flap about like tablecloths on a train with the windows open. Josh and banter with the transport police and smoke cigarettes.

Go to bed and pull the curtain, rest an elbow on the open window sill and listen to Mike Oldfield on your i-pod, or Dr Dre, or the soundtrack to 'O Brother, Where Art Thou?' and crack open another beer.

Later, go to sleep and sleep deep to the gentle rocking and squeaking and stopping and starting of the train, masturbate or read a book if you can't sleep or snuggle with your partner.

You lazy rich bastards with your Bangkok Airways and your business class don't know what you're missing.