Oh, I know who it is! Heh!
Anyways I'll make this my last visit to this thread, and not just because boringboy - drying paint given human-form - is dribbling his salacious old man dribble all over it.
I'm fairly certain the whole thing is an exercise in cat fishing and the imagery of some obese dude pleasuring himself over it is not a good one... And actually that could apply to either the OP or boringboy.
*Shudder*