Busty girls can help you live longer – Science


Research has proved that prolonged staring at ladies boobs can increase the length of a man’s life. Personally I think it depends on which lady as I expect there will be some circumstances where it could instead reduce it, down to the next few minutes if you are not careful.

After lengthy research the gerontologist Dr Karen Weatherby has announced that ‘Just ten minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female is roughly equivalent to a thirty minute aerobic workout.’

This genius of a doctor and her fellow researchers at three hospitals in Frankfurt, Germany have reached their conclusions after considering the health of 200 male outpatients, half of whom were tasked with looking at busty ladies every day whilst the other half were told not to do so.

Five long years of study revealed the lecherous legion to have lower blood pressure, slower resting pulse rates and there were fewer cases of coronary artery disease.

‘Sexual excitement gets the heart pumping’ explained Dr Weatherby in what must be an Olympic medal-winning example of stating the bleeding obvious. ‘That improves blood circulation,’ she continued.

‘There is no question gazing at breasts makes men healthier. Our study indicates that engaging in this activity for a few minutes a day cuts the risk of stroke and heart attacks in half. We believe that by doing so consistently, the average man can extend his life by four to five years.’

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