Foul-smelling farts - avoid the airport!

[Simon43]

Unless you really like obnoxious farting, you'll be well-advised to stay clear of the Phuket airport area.

A few days ago, I picked up a dose of Giardia, after my cleaning lady went to buy a Thai salad for me from a new restaurant at the nearby beach.

'Charge him 100 baht - he is a farang' said the restaurant owner.

'No way' said my cleaning lady ' I am paying the correct price of 50 baht for him'

Whereupon the restaurant owner went out back and came back smiling with the Thai salad in a bag.

Although it tasted ok, I went down with Giardia (small intestine infection) the next day, usually due to eating fecal matter. I've never caught Giardia from the regular restaurants there.

Since I don't usually binge on eating turds, I assume that the restaurant owner stuck her finger up her backside and wiped it on my salad...

I can tell you that the foul smell of farts and liquid shit has caused a major evacuation of this area. Expect long delays and issue of gas masks if you fly into the airport.

[baldrick]

the restaurant owner

execute him by tying him down and inserting soi stall used chicken bones in his colon , then let the soi dogs do the rest

if you need instruction about the insertion of the chicken bones , PM withnall

[slackula]

Foul-smelling farts - avoid the airport!

Are you trying to have us believe that your farts usually smell of Chanel Nº 5 or something?

Just blame it on the dog like everybody else and get over it.

[Gazza]

^
My farts smell like Chanel No 2. Also known as Colon Cologne.

[stroller]

Unless you really like obnoxious farting, you'll be well-advised to stay clear of the Phuket airport area.

A few days ago, I picked up a dose of Giardia, after my cleaning lady went to buy a Thai salad for me from a new restaurant at the nearby beach.

'Charge him 100 baht - he is a farang' said the restaurant owner.

'No way' said my cleaning lady ' I am paying the correct price of 50 baht for him'

Whereupon the restaurant owner went out back and came back smiling with the Thai salad in a bag.

Although it tasted ok, I went down with Giardia (small intestine infection) the next day, usually due to eating fecal matter. I've never caught Giardia from the regular restaurants there.

Since I don't usually binge on eating turds, I assume that the restaurant owner stuck her finger up her backside and wiped it on my salad...

I can tell you that the foul smell of farts and liquid shit has caused a major evacuation of this area. Expect long delays and issue of gas masks if you fly into the airport.

Don't divert from the real issue... what happened to the restaurant owner?

[BaitongBoy]

Are you quite okay now, Simon?...

[ShrewedPunter]

Do you ever think some Thais actually sit down and ponder..

Why is Farang "Rich"?
What/How & why is Farangs homeland such a nice wealthy place to live?
Could Thai emulate Farang and make Thailand same same Farangland?

Could Thai treat all people equally albiet losing out a few baht extra profits.. however greatly improving the countrys images and tourism industry in the long term

[Chittychangchang]

Next time visit the Thai restaurant yourself and use the facilities.

Of course after a night on the Chang and redecorate his toilet with the squirts.

[wasabi]

Simon this thread is shit, unless you post pictures of your Motel toilets.

[kingwilly]

Please don't

[BaitongBoy]

That wouldn't really be scat, to be fair...

[thaimeme]

How trustworthy is your cleaning lady, Simon?

[Simon43]

How trustworthy is your cleaning lady, Simon?

Very, she is not part of my dysfunctional, Thai family. She exhibits some characteristics that are somewhat peculiar to the Thais that I know ==> common sense and honesty

[runner]

Whereupon the restaurant owner went out back and came back smiling with the Thai salad in a bag.

Although it tasted ok, I went down with Giardia (small intestine infection) the next day, usually due to eating fecal matter. I've never caught Giardia from the regular restaurants there.

Since I don't usually binge on eating turds, I assume that the restaurant owner stuck her finger up her backside and wiped it on my salad...

You seem very light-hearted about what would be deemed a criminal offence somewhere sensible.

[November Rain]

Since I don't usually binge on eating turds, I assume that the restaurant owner stuck her finger up her backside and wiped it on my salad...

Or it could be as simple as the salad was fertilised with some form of faecal matter & just not washed thoroughly enough...
Do you usually suffer from paranoia Simon?

[runner]

^ Quite possibly.

there is evidence to suggest that immigrants are more prone to suspiciousness and paranoia as a result of the language and other cultural barriers they face.

Paranoia - body, causes, Johns Experience, What Is Paranoia?

[Looper]

Is it safe to approach from either direction yet or are flights still being diverted to Samui?

[Dillinger]

'Charge him 100 baht - he is a farang' said the restaurant owner. 'No way' said my cleaning lady ' I am paying the correct price of 50 baht for him'

Have you ever wondered, your Maid may be telling you that so you tip her ? She's probably 2 holed one of those Thai cucumbers , then shredded it on your salad

[thailazer]

Giardia... Also known as Beaver Fever. It can come back years later from what the doc told me after I had it. I'll pass on getting a memory whiff.

[Simon43]

Do you usually suffer from paranoia Simon?

No, this was a different restaurant to where my normally get my food - probably looked clean but many people don't wash their hands probably after fingering their ringpeice.

Still recovering - the farts have diminished, but I still have to be careful not to shit my pants, especially since the hotel guests wouldn't appreciate the sight, sounds and smell.

Maybe a little too much detail in that above comment..

[nora tittoff]

Do you usually suffer from paranoia Simon?

No, this was a different restaurant to where my normally get my food - probably looked clean but many people don't wash their hands probably after fingering their ringpeice.

Still recovering - the farts have diminished, but I still have to be careful not to shit my pants, especially since the hotel guests wouldn't appreciate the sight, sounds and smell.

Maybe a little too much detail in that above comment..

Yes just a little

[terry57]

Still recovering , but I still have to be careful not to shit my pants.

Very good way to lose a few KG Simon.

Don't worry about it.

[kmart]

How trustworthy is your cleaning lady, Simon?

Very, she is not part of my dysfunctional, Thai family. She exhibits some characteristics that are somewhat peculiar to the Thais that I know ==> common sense and honesty

Keeper.

[slackula]

How trustworthy is your cleaning lady, Simon?

Very, she is not part of my dysfunctional, Thai family. She exhibits some characteristics that are somewhat peculiar to the Thais that I know ==> common sense and honesty

Keeper.

Will we be invited to the opening launch party of her hotel?

[Simon43]

Keeper

Actually you're probably spot on there. But I'm clean out of hotels right now, so she's out of luck.