I am going to fcuk my ex to death

**Simon43** · 21-01-2015, 05:30 PM

So there I was browsing Alibaba.com for some wank material, and I came across (not literally I hasten to add), this wonderful supplier of lifelike, sex dolls.

Non-toxic,No Peculiar Smell,No Pungent Odor! Real Touch Silicone Sex Doll&lifelike Sex Doll&full Silicone Sex Doll - Buy Silicone Sex Doll,Lifelike Sex Doll,Full Silicone Sex Doll Product on Alibaba.com

The wonderful bit is that they will fully customise your sex doll so that it closely resembles whoever's photo you send them, including facial appearance, hair, eye colour etc.

The customisation seems to be limited to facial appearance and boob size - anything further down seems to be one size only ==> tight!

quote:

Due to the vagina of the doll is tight, please use the lubricant before using.

and:

The ass hole is tighter than vaigna, Our sex exporters recommand you use it after you are familiar to the vagina.

Fancy fcuking your ex? Now you can without her moaning about how small your dick is.

Got a secret hard on for your best mate? Snap his photo and you will soon be the proud owner of a beautiful, sexy female doll with a butt-ugly male face.

There really is no limit to what one could order

**Kurgen** · 21-01-2015, 05:50 PM

Oh dear.

**taxexile** · 21-01-2015, 05:54 PM

oh dear indeed.

**Simon43** · 21-01-2015, 06:00 PM

I might order one with a face like ex-Princess Fergie - of course, she was my fantasy as a teenager

Of course, if you want a cheaper model, you could try this one:

http://www.alibaba.com/product-detai...006824446.html

(Sorry - I almost wet myself with laughter at the thought of porking a doll with a face like that)

**nidhogg** · 21-01-2015, 06:09 PM

Originally Posted by Simon43

Fancy fcuking your ex?

Good god - why?

I paid quite a lot of money not to have to do that ever again.

Originally Posted by Simon43

Now you can without her moaning about how small your dick is.

Uhhm.. Cough. She never did Simon..............

**Bettyboo** · 21-01-2015, 06:15 PM

Originally Posted by Simon43

(Sorry - I almost wet myself with laughter at the thought of porking a doll with a face like that)

not 'porking a doll', but 'porking a doll with a face like that'... Bloody Nora, no wonder poor old Somchai still has nightmares about being accosted by you in the middle of nowhere on hamming night...

**Simon43** · 21-01-2015, 06:31 PM

no wonder poor old Somchai still has nightmares about being accosted by you in the middle of nowhere

That's twisting the facts - he was frottering my car door

Edit:

I just realised that the Smurf in my avatar looks like one of those sex dolls on Alibaba

**thaimeme** · 21-01-2015, 06:33 PM

Simply charming.

Class act you are Simon.

**Fondles** · 21-01-2015, 06:38 PM

How much are they Simon ?

**Bettyboo** · 21-01-2015, 06:39 PM

Originally Posted by Fondles

How much are they Simon ?

They're much more affordable secondhand...

**Fondles** · 21-01-2015, 06:40 PM

Originally Posted by Bettyboo

Originally Posted by Fondles

How much are they Simon ?

They're much more affordable secondhand...

I bought my missus secondhand and to date she has cost me a fortune.

**Simon43** · 21-01-2015, 06:41 PM

How much are they Simon ?

Seem to be from $10 for the butt-ugly one, and then from $500 for the customised version.

I can't imagine who on earth would order one of these via DHL. There must be a demand for them, or the factories wouldn't be manufacturing them.

**Bettyboo** · 21-01-2015, 06:47 PM

Originally Posted by Fondles

I bought my missus secondhand and to date she has cost me a fortune.

In which case I can perfectly understand why you'd buy a rubber one. In a couple of months, after Simon has built 'her' a hotel, you'll be able to get the rubber doll at a vastly discounted price - and, judging by Nidhogg's astute observation, the tight nether regions will still be as tight as when 'she' was new...

**terry57** · 21-01-2015, 06:47 PM

So I imagine if one is a raging faggot one would place an order for a doll with a face like Gary Glitter and make sure it has a front and a back arsehole.

Butter arse would like that EH.

**patsycat** · 21-01-2015, 07:17 PM

I've seen documentaries about men that have those dolls. One guy had 4 of them and would arrange them around the table while he ate his tea. When not lounging on your couch or in your bed you can hang them on meathooks in your wardrobe.

**harrybarracuda** · 21-01-2015, 07:29 PM

**Dillinger** · 21-01-2015, 07:32 PM

I was wondering why anyone would be googling see dolls from Thailand, but if you read the first line of the link in the op

**nidhogg** · 21-01-2015, 07:45 PM

Originally Posted by patsycat

you can hang them on meathooks in your wardrobe.

That really is a very disturbing comment patsycat.

**Simon43** · 21-01-2015, 07:59 PM

and HarryBarracuda - that is a very disturbing YouTube clip - I would never feel safe camping in a farmer's field in Somerset

**Bettyboo** · 21-01-2015, 08:13 PM

Errrmmm....

**thaimeme** · 21-01-2015, 08:28 PM

Originally Posted by Simon43

and HarryBarracuda - that is a very disturbing YouTube clip - I would never feel safe camping in a farmer's field in Somerset

...it's more than disturbing.

**Kurgen** · 21-01-2015, 10:09 PM

I really wish I hadn't watched that clip. He's one very strange fella.

**Phoenix** · 21-01-2015, 11:31 PM

Originally Posted by Kurgen

I really wish I hadn't watched that clip. He's one very strange fella.

Still, he probably won't die of prostate cancer servicing that lot .

**November Rain** · 21-01-2015, 11:57 PM

Those things freak me out. Almost as much as men that dress as living dolls.

**slackula** · 22-01-2015, 12:12 AM

Originally Posted by nidhogg

Originally Posted by patsycat

you can hang them on meathooks in your wardrobe.

That really is a very disturbing comment patsycat.

I was aroused by it. I bet they won't squirm and complain as much as the real girls either.

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