I don't like the British Embassy much. Not at all in fact. Been there several times over the years and its always been an unpleasant experience. Crowds , queues , getting fleeced etc etc.

So yesterday it was with some trepidation that I made the two hour trip across town, cap in hand, for another fleecing of my dwindling finances.
Dropped Ms Bangyai off at her market stall at 6.30 a.m. and struggled through the morning rush hour to arrive at the embassy at 9.00 a.m.
After a few questions and dropping off my phone at the entrance I gritted my teeth and entered the consular section.

Upon entry my first thought was ' blimey, has somebody farted ? ' ..... it was almost empty ! Just one couple and a baby quietly bickering in a corner and a young tefler being served. Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice. My bum had hardly parked itself when my number was called. Approaching the window with my paperwork I was seen by a friendly Thai girl who gracefully fleeced me of 2990 baht and then told me my affirmation document would be ready in 30 minutes.

Great !! I was expecting to have to make the trip again on Monday so a 30 minute wait was sweet.

I sat down to read a book , one of several I was later going to exchange down on Sukhumvit. Just getting into it when the door opened behind me and a second later somebody shouted


" Who's gonna gimme a hundred baht ? "

I looked around and saw a bearded looking desperado who looked like he'd spent the night sleeping rough in a gutter near Nana Plaza. The surprise was still sinking in when he opened up with another broadside....this time staring at me.

" Who's gonna give me a hundred baht or else I won't eat today ? "

Fookin twat I thinks and starts reading again. Give up eating for 80 days then get back to me. However , the couple with the baby give him a hundred and after a curt thanks he disappears. Apparently, that was his sole reason for entering the consulate. Wonder what he told them at the gate " I've come here to beg "

I got my paperwork and left. All in all it was the best ever trip I've made to the British Embassy. In and out in 35 minutes no hassles and entertainment laid on..what more could you want ?