The Ashes Thread.

[cyrille]

We played well, bowled great as a unit and had some batsmen do the job. The Convicts at times bowled well, but were inconsistent.

And ran dimwittedly into just about every batting trap England set them.

We were told by wooly that Australia would 'go for it'.

I didn't realise he meant they'd leap out of the water into the keep net.


Christ but that Watson has the tactical nouse of a fucking lemming.

[harrybarracuda]

Congratulations to the Poms for the win, they deserved it,been out in the bush with no
tv, radio and really slow internet and was ready for the last day with a tv coverage.
Shock- horror- nothing to watch,all over red rover.
saw a bit of the high lights, Root batting just rooted me.
Clark needs a kick in the nuts for losing his wicket,at least now the selectors should give
Marsh a go instead of Watson, he is like pommy plumbing ,too hot and cold.
Bring on the next test and hope the weather stays fine for the all round champs AKA the
Aussies go through the poms like a dose of salts.

I dunno about champs mate, right now it's chumps.

[Loy Toy]

I don't blame all you Poms coming out and laying the boot in after suffering the last ashes flogging. Some of us Aussies have laid the boot in over the last 12 months.

Part of the game and part of the banter.

But one game does not give you the ashes back and there are still another 4 games.

I reckon this loss was just what the Aussies needed and they will bounce back.

All I ask is all those who are the loudest and most scathing don't leave the forum if your side lose. Please!

And Daveboy your more than welcome to visit us again next time you are in Thailand.

[cyrille]

But one game does not give you the ashes back and there are still another 4 games.

About the tenth time this has been posted by supporters of both sides, I think.

Only 9 of them convicts, tbf.

Could we possibly take this statement, however nuanced and complex it might seem at first glance,() as, after a moment of calm reflection, a statemant of the totally fucking obvious?

Here to help the hard of thinking.

[chassamui]

I don't blame all you Poms coming out and laying the boot in after suffering the last ashes flogging. Some of us Aussies have laid the boot in over the last 12 months.

Part of the game and part of the banter.

But one game does not give you the ashes back and there are still another 4 games.

I reckon this loss was just what the Aussies needed and they will bounce back.

All I ask is all those who are the loudest and most scathing don't leave the forum if your side lose. Please!

And Daveboy your more than welcome to visit us again next time you are in Thailand.

You could be right LT but I think we both know it's more than just Watson letting the side down. My view from the start has been that your team have too many sell by date stickers running out. We are in a position where promising youngsters like Wood, Stokes and Ali can only get better under new management.
I still believe it will be close at the end. Aussies never give up and always try to attack.
It only takes one draw and one Aussie win and just watch the bouncers start flying. It's been pretty calm so far.
Anyway good luck and FFS don't drop Johnson.

[cyrille]

This is how I feel.

Just think the aussie apple cart has been turned over by this unexpected (by them) crushing victory.

Clarke's leadership skills..well, need I say more?

And Darren Lumpen?

Well he probably knows some good boozers near St. John's Wood anyway..

[baldrick]

don't leave the forum if your side lose.

talk about pushing sh1t uphill - this is pommy cnuts you are talking about

they will be whimpering into their stella by the end of the month

[harrybarracuda]

I don't blame all you Poms coming out and laying the boot in after suffering the last ashes flogging. Some of us Aussies have laid the boot in over the last 12 months.

Part of the game and part of the banter.

But one game does not give you the ashes back and there are still another 4 games.

I reckon this loss was just what the Aussies needed and they will bounce back.

All I ask is all those who are the loudest and most scathing don't leave the forum if your side lose. Please!

And Daveboy your more than welcome to visit us again next time you are in Thailand.

Actually the chuckles are more at the ridiculous hype and overoptimism exhibited by certain tossers prior to this series.

Not fucking singing any more are they?

[VocalNeal]

Some really clever posts from the smellies. Fuck me, I'm amazed some of you can use a keyboard - seriously moronic jargon from all of the 'new pommy cricket fans'

I know you must be on a high after beating us after so long but please don't forget to close the door on your way out once you lose the series and flounce from the thread will you

I've seen it happen many times before and are quite the expert you see. Poms are not only the smelliest but also a very timid species which hibernate in droves when they lose in cricket.

Just quoted this post for reference in a couple of weeks.

From what I have seen from poms they don't really mind losing as it would be like the teacher losing to the pupil. They have always been told by their mom that it doesn't matter as long as you did your best.

[baldrick]

for all the bombast we just don't seem to believe

It's not like they're up against a great team: since 2012, South Africa, Sri Lanka, India and New Zealand have all taken matches or series off England on home soil. But Australia can't find a way to do the same

The Ashes: Australia slips towards record losing streak in England ahead of crucial Lord's Test match - ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation)

[cyrille]

From what I have seen from poms they don't really mind losing as it would be like the teacher losing to the pupil. They have always been told by their mom that it doesn't matter as long as you did your best.

I think it's just that we believe actions speak louder than words. Unlike Australians gobbing off at every opportunity we have some credibility to protect.

[cyrille]

I wonder if Steve Smith still thinks England 'won't come close' to winning the ashes?
Typical of what I'm talking about - doing a lap of honour before the first coin toss.
Cocky twat.

[Bobcock]

I love the Australians way of ignoring the facts....

Wally's comment about having not beaten them for so long.... granted we lost the last series and it was ugly, but the series before that....? WON, the series before that one.... WON.....the series before that one.....go on...have a guess....

I remember once LT telling us about how he remembered the regular victories whilst he was growing up..... during his formative years the 70's.... yes England won 3 series to 2... and the 80's...yes England won 3 series to 2.....

But they never remember that......

I think cricket only started for these guys when they were the best team in the world and all else....well....just isn't cricket....55555

[Loy Toy]

If you are referring to the past and winning statistics Bob the Aussies have it over the soap dodgers and sheep shaggers quite convincingly covering most sports.

But I will let the Aussie cricket team speak for me starting the upcoming test but you and cyrille enjoy your recent one win.

We still have the ashes!

[bobo746]

Poms on a roll a one peat.

[cyrille]

now lt has been reduced to mumbling something about 'most sports' rather than cricket.

This is fucking priceless stuff.

What'll he be on next - the dominance of Australians in the field of boxing kangaroos?

I think we might have a contender here for thread of the year the way things are going.

[Bobcock]

If you are referring to the past and winning statistics Bob the Aussies have it over the soap dodgers and sheep shaggers quite convincingly covering most sports.

I'm sure you believe that....of course should England win this Ashes series it will in fact be even.....but of course you will ignore that fact like you ignore anything that doesn't suit your Inferiority complex driven tub thumping and incorrectly believe that you have dominated throughout your life.

In fact the Nineties and the first half of the 2000's is your only period of domination in your lifetime...... if we were to mention an era that long ago we would hear howls of derision and accusations of talking about History......

Like you say we have one win in this series, nothing is done yet, I'm certainly not crowing about it.....I'm just amused at the Aussie swarm and it's wounded reaction to the defeat..... the Aussie I work with hasn't even set foot on this floor today despite usually being here 5 or 6 times a day, but he did send me an email when he wanted something......5555

[Loy Toy]

now lt has been reduced to mumbling something about 'most sports' rather than cricket.

We aussies have a clear record advantage over you Poms.

Not priceless if you google the facts.

Now on to the next match.

[Bobcock]

now lt has been reduced to mumbling something about 'most sports' rather than cricket.

I bet his list of other sports will not count any sport whatever it is that they do not hold a winning record in....

[Bobcock]

now lt has been reduced to mumbling something about 'most sports' rather than cricket.

We aussies have a clear record advantage over you Poms.

Not priceless if you google the facts.

Now on to the next match.

Series played 68

Australia 32

England 31

Drawn 5.....

I don't need to Google the facts..... I know them.... you obviously do need to Google them but didn't..... just relied on your misguided belief that your fabricated version of events is true.....

[VocalNeal]

On Tuesday I bought a real cricket umpires hat. Now all I need is a couple of sweaters to tie around my waist!

[Loy Toy]

I don't need to Google the facts..... I know them.... you obviously do need to Google them but didn't..... just relied on your misguided belief that your fabricated version of events is true.....

So an almost 20% match winning advantage doesn't count then Bob? 55555

And England won the vast majority of the test series played when Australia was still a backward colony in the late 1800's.

And during this period the ashes were born as it was such an insult to be beaten.

[cyrille]

LoL now early victories are 'the wrong sort of victories'.

You should have worked for British Rail, lt.

[Bruce Bayliss]

If you are referring to the past and winning statistics Bob the Aussies have it over the soap dodgers and sheep shaggers quite convincingly covering most sports.

really???certainly they have everybody beat at AFL...but football, rugby league, rugby union...jaysus christ spare me...they are fairly decent golfers though...but then so are the Irish

[Wally Dorian Raffles]

Okay, so a couple of days to catch up on things after a few late nights watching the first test, and now it's time to get ready for Lords!

So what have we learned from what happened in Cardiff?

Well, here are a few things that come to mind immediately ..

* It's probably best if we find a place to put cyrille for a while. He is showing extreme signs of over excitement and hyper tension and given his current delusional state, I feel it is best that we put him some place where he cannot hurt himself - or others for that matter. I'm pretty sure everybody is on board with this so if you know his current where abouts please contact the local authorities and explain that we have a 'rabid pom' on the loose - that will get their attention for sure, especially if they are cricket fans ..

* No more chances for Watson - if he is picked again over M.Marsh then there are serious problems in the selection process as his days are clearly over and M.Marsh is 10 years younger & has done enough to show he is currently the better player. No brainer.

* We rely on a couple of good batsmen to carry us and when they flop we are fucked. Another reason why Watson must go - he is a passenger and so is Haddin - I have never been a Haddin fan though his keeping has been excellent in the past few years - but that Root catch he dropped when he was on 2 ? - That cost us that game, so if his keeping is on the decline as his batting then he shouldn't be there - but too late to blood Neville, so I am pretty sure we are stuck with him till the end of this series. Bottom line - We need Smith & Clarke to make runs

* Barby and Anderson are not just very good at home, but they seem to have found a little bit extra to give this series. barbie was quick - getting good bounce and pace. Wood complimented them well and they bowled better than us in general

* Bayliss is a fucking traitor who should never be allowed back in Australia

.....other things tooo, but bring on Lords!

Australia have a great record at Lords - and touring teams often play better in the 2nd test

I am confident we will win and Lords and level the series