Thread: Chitty's Dirty Burger Emporium

Spicy Thai beef burgers made from scratch.

First buy the lean minced beef as cheap as possible..


Grab some fist size clumps of minced beef and roll into a cricket ball size or American sized soft ball if your a fat b'stard, adding the finely diced garlic and pepper.Then into the pan and flattened down slowly so as to make the perfect burger shape.




I'll have the softball sized one please, weighing in a 400 grams.






Prepare the buns,baps or barms depending where your from with lettuce, cheese,tomato sauce and of course some mayo



Be warned they hit your stomach hard so book your taxi or private ambulance in advance.

Taking advance orders but i'm limited to 100 a day so be quick,It's no good coming back later when I've sold out. "Too late, too late" will be the cry when the man with the bargains has passed you by. If you got no money on you now, you'll be crying tears as big as October cabbages.

150 baht each

CCC

Originally Posted by Chittychangchang

First buy the lean minced beef

Noooooooooooooo! Never use lean meat for burgers! Burgers minimum 20% fat. Always. Fat is flavour. Fat is not bad. Too much fat is bad. Do not use lean meat, just use less fat meat!

^^
Did you get the meat at half price as it was going out of date , or did you get it out of the bin at the back of the supermarket ? ,

No chance getting in the bins in this neck of the woods, Punty and his gang have got it all sown up.
The "Skip Rat" Mafia they're called.
That meat was fresh when eaten.
Can i put you down for an order Snakey?
I'll increase the fat content for the next batch, can i put you down for a dozen BOb?
10 for a 1000 baht or £2 each.

Could do with a name for these burgers....hmmmm...any ideas????
I'll give 100 burgers to any member who can come up with a decent name for my new burger business!!
It'll be decided by a poll in one weeks time.

I will personally DFS 24 hour delivery anywhere in the world the winning prize!

Originally Posted by Chittychangchang

No chance getting in the bins in this neck of the woods, Punty and his gang have got it all sown up.
The "Skip Rat" Mafia they're called.
That meat was fresh when eaten.
Can i put you down for an order Snakey?
I'll increase the fat content for the next batch, can i put you down for a dozen BOb?
10 for a 1000 baht or £2 each.

Could do with a name for these burgers....hmmmm...any ideas????
I'll give 100 burgers to any member who can come up with a decent name for my new burger business!!
It'll be decided by a poll in one weeks time.

I will personally DFS 24 hour delivery anywhere in the world the winning prize!

I'd like to order 40,000 free burgers for Father Ted's orphanarium and call upon all TD posters to send me money for my generosity.

Originally Posted by Chittychangchang

No chance getting in the bins in this neck of the woods, Punty and his gang have got it all sown up.
!

Hang on a minute.. i thought i sell the big issue outside of Aldi, not rooting through the bins at Tescos Glossop

Originally Posted by ShrewedPunter

Hang on a minute.. i thought i sell the big issue outside of Aldi, not rooting through the bins at Tescos Glossop

Polish Pete told me to pass on the message that the UKBA are deporting him for benefit fraud and that you should get back to the Wirral to fight your corner at Birkenhead Job Centre coz they've rumbled your scam even though Polish Pete shaved his head of hair, he couldn't quite fool them with the accent.

Your council flat is gonna be taken back and your sick benefit stopped.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

Looks like they were pink in the middle

Originally Posted by DJ Pat

Looks like they were pink in the middle

As they should be.

Originally Posted by DJ Pat

Looks like they were pink in the middle

Medium to well done, but i can cater for all tastes and pallets...

The steak tartare burger..

It's on the Bucket List

May I propose your Nana bugger be called, to assuge the pangs of munger

CityTittyPangBang

Please send a raw sample for the gimp

PS not a 150 baht turd sandwich

https://teakdoor.com/attachments/the-...porium-db7.jpg

That's the spirit!

PM's Sent

Fooking ell Bob that's priceless

But please this is a serious thread and don't derail it with talk of pies.
This is a serious thread for serious burger connesiours and I really need help.....with a catchy commercial name for my new bugger business.
The 100 burger offer stands!!

Of coure the aetiology of pre chewed food is anal retentive and popular in infantilised societies like USA

Real men eat off the bone or pussy

Bunsen Burgers

Originally Posted by Pattaya Plies

Bunsen Burgers

What a shite name, you can do better than that Pattaya Piles!
Btw how's the bunch of grapes hanging out of your back door? If you need them popping back in then pm butters or Lulu

Originally Posted by DrB0b

Burgers minimum 20% fat. Always. Fat is flavour. Fat is not bad.

This is correct the best burger uses a ratio of 80/20. That is the flavor sweat spot!!

Originally Posted by bsnub

This is correct the best burger uses a ratio of 80/20. That is the flavor sweat spot!!

80% fat!!! Good god you must be a walking heart attack in the making you fat bastard.

Chav Chitty's Cheeseless Crusty Burgers

Originally Posted by Dillinger

Chav Chitty's Cheeseless Crusty Burgers

The cheese was low fat to non existent for a change, can i put you down for a dozen?

Bacteria grows on the outside of meat.. that’s why you can eat rare steak because its been seared on the outside.. Once you mince the beef the bacteria is internal so you gotta cook it well.

The fact that you’ve used nearly out of date minced meat makes it even fucking worse.. Lets hope the germ killing properties of the chili sauce do their thing

Anyone who inserts minced garlic into a meat patty and then crowds it into a pan where it boils away in what becomes a dilute fat bath deserves to be crucified and then drawn before quartering.
That picture was an obscenity.

Originally Posted by Seekingasylum

Anyone who inserts minced garlic into a meat patty and then crowds it into a pan where it boils away in what becomes a dilute fat bath deserves to be crucified and then drawn before quartering.
That picture was an obscenity.

The Brexit Burger has a nice ring to it