Thread: My Golden Retriever

I've gotta gush about my Golden Retriever, Kobe. He's, by far, the coolest dog I've ever had. He's got a great personality and learns very quickly. Anytime I say "No" about anything, he stops what he's doing and looks at me like, "Oh-kay, just playing..." When the front door is open, he never comes inside unless he's asked. (This he learned by me throwing him out by the scruff of the neck/back only 2 or 3 times.)

And this dog LOVES me. My wife is the one who bought him (for 3,000 baht). So I blame her "It's YOUR dog" whenever he digs something up or rolls over in her flower bed. But anytime he sees me, he comes over to me. If we're out walking and someone calls "Hey dog" or whistles, as they usually do, he doesn't even look. He just stays by my side and keeps on walking. If my wife calls him, he usually won't go unless I walk him over to her.

Which is a bit unfair for her. Because she regularly cleans his ears and spends hours going through his fur looking for bugs or ticks or flees or bits of bushes that he's been through.

I think it's the fact that I smack him hard on the butt and shoulders, which all big dogs love, and have also disciplined him when necessary and also given him lots of love. And I've shown the Thais around me how to treat a good dog.

This is Kobe when he was about 3 or 4 months old:


Maybe I'm biased, ok, I am. But to me, Kobe has the classic look of a Golden Retriever. He looks just like the dog on the front of the Pedigree dog food bag.

Great profile of a great dog:


They say that you can get 6,000 baht to mate your male Golden Retrievers. But we didn't go that route. We had him fixed about 4 months ago:



Sneaky little bugger...before we got him fixed, he went out one night and didn't come back (the one time he wouldn't listen to me). At one point, I saw him surrounded by about 8 of my neighbor's male dogs and he was spinning, in a rather clumsy fashion (he's REALLY clumsy), snapping his jaws. He was after that little bitch across the street. (those soi dogs were no fucking match for Kobe, and they knew it. He can easily put any of their heads in his mouth. And with all of his fur, he's not so vulnerable to their weaker bites.)

A few weeks later, the local soi dog ends up pregnant. She had two puppies, one white, like her, and the other one sort of Golden-looking, but with a bit of black on his back and tail (maybe another shag later on that night for that slut bitch???).


You can see in the above picture that Kobe's looking more like a lab than a Golden. That's because we took him to the vet for a bit of a trim to his long hair. When we came to pick him up, we found that the ladyboy helper had gone a bit overboard, at least, more than what I thought they'd do. He was a lot cooler and looked cool. But we found that his skin was easier for the mozzies to get to. So we've let it grow back now.

You've gotta be careful with big dogs in Thailand. Last year, they had 5 Golden's die from over heating in Ban Chang. So we've got a big tub of water out in the back that Kobe can, and does, plop into anytime of day. And though it sits in the sun in the afternoon, the water is always cool. I sit in it sometimes with Kobe after a walk.

Our house is on 1 rai of land, so there is plenty of area for him to roam around. Now that we have the fence up, we don't let him out so much, and I think this is cool with him. Also, it helps him develop a sense of 'his property' and he will let out a deep bark when someone walks by.

Kobe's House:



Barking is probably all that you'd get out of him as a watch dog, though. Barking and slobbering all-over-you-to-death!!

It's funny, he LOVES stuffed dolls. He will 'chew' on one for weeks & months and never put a hole in the doll. It's just amazing how a dog with such big teeth and such strong jaws can be so gentle & tender. I guess that's what makes them such great....retrievers.

But one time, he picked up a bag of bones & shit that someone had thrown on the side of the road. I didn't want him to pick it up and then drop it where someone might see, so I told him to drop it.

This is not a command that he fully understands, yet. "No" doesn't work here, he already had the bag in his mouth. So I jammed my finger in the back of his mouth at the jaw. Fucking hell, that didn't budge him at all. He was able to hold his mouth partially open and I COULD NOT get him to open it. He gave me those let-me-know-when-you're-done-trying eyes and was wagging his tail. I stood up and said, "Fucking hell!" and then he decided to drop it. And this is what I firmly believe, he dropped it because he knew that I wanted him to. And for him, he would rather make me happy with that then to chomp down on those bones.

As strong as those jaws are, though, I don't know if a Golden Retriever has it in him to use them against a burglar. I've seen his brother (who doesn't have the same distinctive looks) growling at local soi dogs. But he's been raised as a Thai dog, poor, mangy thing. My friend told me the other day that Golden Retrievers have been known to turn on family members when two or more of them argue. Then will defend the one that they attach to. That's me, I'm the Alpha Male in our household. I just hope that he wouldn't ever turn on my wife! Not that we ever argue that way, fortunately. But, overall, as a guard dog...I don't think it's there.


Recently we got Kobe weighed and he was 43 fucking kilograms!! He's a big boy, for sure. But he's not fat. He gets a lot of exercise and is in great shape. Yesterday, we took him to the vet because he has a fever and was looking rough. We gave him a few shots and he started feeling better right away.

Then (DD, you'll enjoy this) we took him over to the Camel Bar for a Sunday English breakfast. The girls (and a few of the customers) fell in love with him right way. He rolled over and showed them his dick and they were all scratching him and rubbing his big, floppy ears. (I had to give them all the slobber warning!)

Kobe at the Camel Bar, Ban Chang, Rayong, waiting patiently for food scraps and any scratchin' he can get from the ladies...


So that's my dog Kobe. He's a great dog. And like the King of Thailand, I hope he lives for many, many years to come.