Thread: Patong Beach is shit.

Khao Lak sounds like a great place for relaxing and veging out in style. Thanks for the info.
But I get the impression these folks want to see and do as much as possible in their short stay. I have recommended Patong as back 6 years ago it seemed to have the best mix of accessibility to all the different tourist activities. I get the impression they want to be out on day trips to the islands during the day and then taking in the bars and night life after dark. They will only be in Phuket for a week and they can afford to ride out the rip offs, so I think they will be looking for the excitement factor rather than peace and quiet.

The water isn't dirty like you described nor the winds as bad as in October but swimming is a concern.. When the water is rough there is an extreme concern of undertow from the rough waters and the shape of the surrounding beach areas. They act like a parabolic dish does to sound and focus the velocity of the returning water back to the sea with very strong under currents.

This causes the beaches to be closed quite often and if they aren't good swimmers probably best to avoid them most of the time, at least for swimming. But that time of year isn't the worst time so it's a crap shoot as to whether or not they'll have problems.. Their vacation time is right on the cusp..

fuck, 4000 Bath a day ? what kind of prima dona bitch do you get for that much ? she must be doing things you would have never thought of

^Yep. I was there this past week and the girls on Soi Tiger are quoting 3,000 baht (plus barfine) for the privilege of sleeping naked in your bed.

Originally Posted by Butterfly

she must be doing things you would have never thought of

Yeah. Like asking for 4000 baht for the night. Nuts!!!

Whatever the market will bear. It's called free enterprise.

Originally Posted by Sir Burr

It's called free enterprise.

Ain't nothing free here IMO. The nice thing about free enterprise is, she has to sell but I don't have to buy.

it's a free market, not free entreprise, which is used to describe something else

I'd vote for Krabi over Phuket every time. Same trips to the islands etc. but a much more comfortable environment for a few days chilling. It would make a good contrast to Bangkok. Plenty of bars and good food.

Originally Posted by durianfan

^Yep. I was there this past week and the girls on Soi Tiger are quoting 3,000 baht (plus barfine) for the privilege of sleeping naked in your bed.

I tell you, the new girls who don't speak a word of English are just a longterm barfine and some jeans and purses and stuff. You guys don't know how to live.....

Originally Posted by rawlins

^^ They didn't have condoms back in those days...

Rubbish Rawly Boy....Even Casanova wore a Condom - It was made of Suede Leather.....allegedly!

I thought pigs intestine (sausage skins) were the original?

Come on guys, we have established that the weather in Phuket may not be the best for swimming in June, but as per my earlier post, I still need some advice on where to find the best sex shows in either Bangkok or Phuket. Razor blades, goldfish, darts and balloons, that sort of thing. That sort of stuff with lots of novelty value for the first time tourist.

Six or seven years ago I dived for the first and last time in Patong Bay and picked up a really viral throat infection. The bay is full of shite, the tsunami cleaned it out but the thais wasted no time in filling it up again.

^^ I've been to Phuket about four times in the last few years. I'd recommend for your guests to stay on Karon beach. It is more of a quiet beach, with many nice four star resorts. They can visit Patong which is a short ten minute tuk tuk ride away. At Patong, they can go to Bangla road and catch any sex show they want, and do some great shopping.

-----

Regarding the OP's opinion of Patong, I'd have to agree that Patong is the worst place to visit if you are going to Phuket. I was there six months ago, and they have built it up so much, that it is overly touristy. There is a huge mall there now, and the traffic is insane.

It is impossible to relax on the beach, because the last time I was there, I was almost knocked over by the whiff of gas coming from all the jet skis that were parked on the beach. There is never a quiet moment on the beach. Head to Karon or Kata, for a bit more quiet. Bangtao beach is also quite quiet and nice.

Originally Posted by Panda

Come on guys, we have established that the weather in Phuket may not be the best for swimming in June, but as per my earlier post, I still need some advice on where to find the best sex shows in either Bangkok or Phuket. Razor blades, goldfish, darts and balloons, that sort of thing. That sort of stuff with lots of novelty value for the first time tourist.

As far as I know, there are no sex shows in Patong anymore.

Originally Posted by Panda

I thought pigs intestine (sausage skins) were the original?

It's a twofer; safe sex and you can cook them up for your isarn honey in the morning.

The big mall is not what Patong needs. It is like a major city there now. Patong does not represent Phuket, that I agree with.

I don't know what you consider a sex show, but I do know that when you walk along Bangla road, you are bombarded by ladyboys, and young thai boys, shoving menu's to come and see their ping pong and other type shows. It is really annoying, and hard to just walk down the street without being bugged by whoever.

Not exactly a paradise for a woman.

Originally Posted by Phuketrichard

I live in Phuket and have to agree, Patong sucks BUT patong is not Phuket.

I agree. Phuket has a lot to offer, I wish I lived there.
Great place, Phuket IMO.

In my opinion, Phuket is the best place to live in Thailand, if you manage to find a quiet place that won't be encroached on by surrounding properties, where the road won't become a freeway of dump trucks and laborers, and where you can enjoy the best the island has to offer.

The problem continues to be too many people, too much construction, too many tourists, etc.. But, luckily, after high season the tourist can should go down.

As I said, best overall place to live in Thailand, hands down.

Originally Posted by durianfan

Last week a friend of mine invited me down to Patong Beach in Phuket for a week of drinking and debauchery. Not having been there for more than 2 years, I gladly accepted and boarded a plane bound for Phuket. Well, this is high season so everyone has their greedy little grins on and unfortunately accommodation is not to be had for less than 1000 baht a night.
Also, the touts are the worst here than anywhere else in Thailand. Yes, even worse than Pattaya (actually they're not that bad up there). You can't walk 5 feet without some idiot trying to sell you some stupid shit. You're not even safe from these cnuts on the beach. I was sitting under my 100 baht umbrella and every 5 minutes somebody would come by and try to sell me something.
I figured, okay, let's go to a different beach. Well, the taxi mafia is going to charge you 400 baht one-way (after bargaining down from 500) to go to Karon. Fuck that.
Oh well, at least the beach is nice. Wrong. 3 years ago, it looked like this:





Unfortunately the idiots have turned it into umbrella city now:





Ahhh, and we can't forget the prostitutes and ladyboys of Bangla Road! I actually don't mind these folk (After all, I used to live in Pattaya). But they're really in your face here. Do not bring the kiddies to this beach! And for you mongers looking for a good deal won't find it here. The big tittied lasses down Soi Tiger will charge you 3000 baht for the privilege of sleeping in your bed. (Oh, and beers are a mere 120 baht down that soi as well).

Can you spot the ladyboy?


I doubt I'll ever come back here. Got some good drinking in with friends, though, so not all was lost.

thank you for the warning i will stick too jomtien beach as usual i think the one in the tiny white shorts is the lady boy

Error on the safe side....I think they're all lady boys....

Originally Posted by chinthee

As I said, best overall place to live in Thailand, hands down.

Totally disagree.