Thread: What the F*** is goin on in the UK

Still no word on Asbo, the cross-eyed rottweiler missing in Fleetwood.

His owner has probably bought another one from a man in a pub by now.

Now that the police hunt has been scaled back, what are the chances of his safe return? I was rather hoping that his disappearance might have spawned a nationwide campaign, with special Asbo T-shirts, posters and sponsored walks.

Still, there is hope. It has been revealed that a number of councils are using anti-terrorism powers to mount surveillance operations on "notorious dog-fouling hotspots". Perhaps Asbo will be caught on camera doing an illegal whoopsie.

Originally Posted by oldgit

OGC unveils new logo to red faces - Telegraph


They are now bashing the Poms, this sent to a friend from his mate in Oz

No link (has been taken down), but Broon actually opened a conference with the logo as a jazzed-up swastika above his head. Apparrently it was a prank by some designer...!

It may be available on google history, Maybe Thetyim could oblige (he's good at that sort of thing...)

OK, here it is:

Originally Posted by astasinim

Originally Posted by Ivor Biggun

That's because some council heirachy earn more than the Primeminister.

Maybe theyve been to LOS to fine tune the art of corruption.

No fine tuning needed! Which country would be perceived as the most corrupt? Which as the most 'upstanding'?

That folks, is the art of corruption purring away behind the scenes, not in your face as in LOS.

Of course there is corruption behind the scenes, but it has serious consequences when found out about in the UK, in contrast to Thailand, no?

I mean 'corruption' as legally defined, not the gray area of favoritism which can not be proven.

Originally Posted by stroller

Of course there is corruption behind the scenes, but it has serious consequences when found out about in the UK, in contrast to Thailand, no?

I mean 'corruption' as legally defined, not the gray area of favoritism which can not be proven.

Yes, when found out it may lead to serious consequences, but normally there's a compromise. Steal the same amount by robbing a bank or through corruption, and unlike the US, you will find the latter treated far more leniantly.

By its very nature, corruption is a grey area.

I was just trying to point out that its rife in the UK but not in your face.

Corruption is alive and well in the Uk, how do you think they got the 2012 olympics? That process is benter than a forty pound note.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=563463&in_page_id=1770

'We're fed up with the cold weather and the NHS,' say asylum seekers trying to break OUT of Britain


Illegal immigrants are leaving the country in search of warmer weather and better health care (file picture)


Failed asylum seekers are leaving the UK in their droves because they don't like our chilly weather and the state of the NHS, claims a top immigration officer.



Les Williams, a chief immigration officer for the UK Border Agency, said that he and his team have come across scores of illegal immigrants trying to break out of Britain in recent weeks.

He said that of those caught most have said that the lack of sunshine and bad healthcare were the main reasons why they wanted to leave the UK.

The majority of those caught are from Afghanistan and Iraq, where the temperatures rarely drop below 35C.

Mr Williams revealed: "One thing we have noticed recently is people trying to leave the country."

He told Police Review magazine: "We cannot explain exactly why they are trying to go, but when some of these people were questioned they said they wanted to go to a warmer country as they are fed up with the English weather and fed up with their treatment on the NHS."

An immigration insider said he had stopped a group of four Iraqis trying to sneak out of the port of Dover.

He said today: "What Les said is quite right.

"There has been a big rise in the number of illegals were are catching sneaking out of the country."

He added: "A group of four men from Iraq I stopped recently said they were sick of the rain and the cold and just wanted to get home or go to somewhere with a bit more sun.

"They also complained that they couldn't get appointments to see a doctor or a dentist.
"It's all a bit rich really."

Originally Posted by bkkandrew

say asylum seekers trying to break OUT of Britain

Just following the natives.

Why anyone chooses to live in Blighty is beyond me, especially when Australia is so easy to emigrate to.

Originally Posted by Shitman

You're going to have to bear with me on this one, because I didn't believe it at first, either.

It's a story from the Blackpool Gazette.

Part 1

Police in Fleetwood are appealing for help in their search for a missing five-month-old rottweiler called Asbo (as in Anti-Social Behavior Order).

The dog belongs to Karen Minto, a 22-year-old mother of three children who glory in the names Angel Louise, Morgan Lee and Gypsi Rose. She is pictured with the children and her partner, Steve, along with their other dog, an alsatian-cross called Hendrix (as in Jimi) who is reported to be pining for Asbo.

Nevertheless, the Blackpool Plod are taking the puppy's disappearance very seriously. DC Scott Hoyle said: "We are appealing to the public to keep their eyes open. "He has an eye condition which makes him slightly cross-eyed, so he should be easy to recognise. Anybody who knows about this crime should call Fleetwood police or Crimestoppers."

Presumably, the bold detective Hoyle managed to read this out with a straight face.

So if you spot a cross-eyed rottweiler, answering to the name of Asbo: Who you gonna call? Crimestoppers!

What amazes me is that this story was reported without comment as if it were nothing unusual. The frightening thing is that it isn't unusual. Incidentally, Karen Minto is pregnant again. Another baby will no doubt help her come to terms with the loss of Asbo.

She'll probably call this one Giro.

Part 2

Police are winding up their search for five-month-old Asbo, who was reported stolen in a burglary last week.

It would now appear that what actually happened was that when Asbo's owner Karen Minto went out to the pub, she left the dog flap open and he wandered off on his own. Karen made up the burglary story because she didn't want to have to tell her partner, Steve, the truth.

Asbo has been downgraded from kidnapped to missing dog

While scouring the Blackpool Gazette for the latest news on Asbo, the cross-eyed rottweiler, I stumbled across a story about hopscotch being banned in Fleetwood for "safety" reasons.

In a valiant effort to put herself in the running for a Here We Go Looby Loo Award, Ruth Hunter, who describes herself as a "Streetscene Manager", said: "The hopscotch grid took up the width of a narrow strip of pavement very close to shops and there was an important safety issue with children playing on the grid, particularly for people walking on the pavement, who would have to step into the very busy road to avoid them."

Where do they find these people?

Crikey. No wonder the UK has no funding or troops for Iraq.

Originally Posted by bkkandrew

An immigration insider said he had stopped a group of four Iraqis trying to sneak out of the port of Dover.
"There has been a big rise in the number of illegals were are catching sneaking out of the country."

He added: "A group of four men from Iraq I stopped recently said they were sick of the rain and the cold and just wanted to get home or go to somewhere with a bit more sun.

"They also complained that they couldn't get appointments to see a doctor or a dentist.

Headed for Thailand.

No news on Asbo, the cross-eyed Rottweiler, but I saw a story which gives us fresh hope.

A cat called Jerry, who has been missing from a Cornish village for eight months, has been found after a woman in America spotted him on a webcam. The woman, from Indiana, was posting a message on an internet forum when she saw images of Jerry sitting on a mat outside the Claremont Hotel, Polperro, in Cornwall & emailed his owners.

This is great news - Asbo may be out there in cyberspace.

Log on & keep 'em peeled.

Originally Posted by Jet Gorgon

No wonder the UK has no funding or troops for Iraq.

The UK has plenty of funding for Iraq, and if they ever run out of funds they can just copy good old USA of A and print a gazillion pounds, package it up as triple A debt and sell it to unsuspecting nations around the world.

Originally Posted by Shitman

No news on Asbo, the cross-eyed Rottweiler, but I saw a story which gives us fresh hope.

A cat called Jerry, who has been missing from a Cornish village for eight months, has been found after a woman in America spotted him on a webcam. The woman, from Indiana, was posting a message on an internet forum when she saw images of Jerry sitting on a mat outside the Claremont Hotel, Polperro, in Cornwall & emailed his owners.

This is great news - Asbo may be out there in cyberspace.

Log on & keep 'em peeled.

...A direct 'lift' from Richard Littlejohn's column in the 'Daily Mail' today....

Please try and acknowledge sources.

Just watching a tv show here in angrit, in Staffordshire the police have got access to the town centre CCTV systems and installed software that can read the registration numbers of cars as they drive past. Once the number is read it is automatically checked out to see if the driver has insurance and licence and road tax.

Bastards!

^ Fek, they can read license plates from satellite feeds. Sorry, old news.

Originally Posted by Jet Gorgon

they can read license plates from satellite feeds

Did you ever go to England and see that 90% of the country is covered in cloud for 90% of the year?

Satellite may as well stick to beaming porn.

So....Hindus eat Chicken, but they don't eat beef? British Airways takes beef off the menu. Good OP. What the hell is going on in the UK?

British Airways takes beef off the menu to avoid offending Hindus

Last updated at 16:37pm on 09.05.08 Add your view

For decades the national dish has been a staple meal on the national carrier.
But now British Airways has taken beef off the menu for economy passengers amid concerns about its "religious restrictions".


The airline has instead switched to a fish pie or chicken dish option for the so-called "cattle class" passengers.


BA's second-biggest long-haul market is to India, where the majority Hindu population do not eat beef because of their beliefs.

Link: British Airways takes beef off the menu to avoid offending Hindus| News | This is London

Originally Posted by bkkandrew

...A direct 'lift' from Richard Littlejohn's column in the 'Daily Mail' today....

Please try and acknowledge sources.

Like I did on the very first page of this thread?

Originally Posted by Shitman

Anybody who wants to know what the UK is like nowadays, just have a read of Littlejohn's column.

If Two Jags is bulimic, then I'm a size zero | the Daily Mail

Please try not to moan like an old woman

Originally Posted by Spin

Originally Posted by Jet Gorgon

they can read license plates from satellite feeds

Did you ever go to England and see that 90% of the country is covered in cloud for 90% of the year?

Satellite may as well stick to beaming porn.

Oh. So no WiFi there either?

Originally Posted by Shitman

Originally Posted by bkkandrew

...A direct 'lift' from Richard Littlejohn's column in the 'Daily Mail' today....

Please try and acknowledge sources.

Like I did on the very first page of this thread?

Originally Posted by Shitman

Anybody who wants to know what the UK is like nowadays, just have a read of Littlejohn's column.

If Two Jags is bulimic, then I'm a size zero | the Daily Mail

Please try not to moan like an old woman

I am not moaning, it just isn't fair to pass off comment as your own when it is copied from someone else, thats all...

Originally Posted by Spin

Just watching a tv show here in angrit, in Staffordshire the police have got access to the town centre CCTV systems and installed software that can read the registration numbers of cars as they drive past. Once the number is read it is automatically checked out to see if the driver has insurance and licence and road tax.

Bastards!

They've had them for years.

They have these cameras on every motorway & many mobile ones in towns.

You should see them - five cops manning the camera thing & ten of the fuckers on motorbikes 200 yards down the road to pull you up.

Source - Shitman

Link - https://teakdoor.com/issues/27826-wha...goin-uk-4.html

Disclaimer - This post is Shitman's & may not be copied or reproduced, in part or whole, without permission from Bkkandrew.

Originally Posted by Shitman

Disclaimer - This post is Shitman's & may not be copied or reproduced, in part or whole, without permission from Bkkandrew.

Thats the spirit old boy!

Originally Posted by Spin

Just watching a tv show here in angrit, in Staffordshire the police have got access to the town centre CCTV systems and installed software that can read the registration numbers of cars as they drive past. Once the number is read it is automatically checked out to see if the driver has insurance and licence and road tax.

Bastards!

McD's on the A4 just by Heathrow has a nice variation on this with the help of a vehicle parking company and the DVLA. Cameras photograph your car as you enter and leave the car park and your plate number and the time of entry and departure are automatically noted. If you stay for more than one hour, the parking company contacts DVLA who give them your name and address. Then they send you the pics. and a demand for £50, escalating to £100 if you don't pay quickly and the possibility of a CCJ. You pay over the 'phone. So, thanks to DVLA, some people in a scuffy little parking company now have your identity and with a few forged utility bills could have a grand old time! If DVLA don't co-operate they could be sued by the parking company for denying them their right to pursue their business.

Originally Posted by Shitman

Source - Shitman

Link - https://teakdoor.com/issues/27826-wha...goin-uk-4.html

Disclaimer - This post is Shitman's & may not be copied or reproduced, in part or whole, without permission from Bkkandrew.