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Thread: HELP needed.

  1. #1
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    HELP needed.

    Last night i was awakened from a bourbon induced slumber to the sound of screeching, at first i thought it was the wife attempting Karaoke but on further investigation i found a CAT firmly ensconced on the sat of my NEW MOTORCYCLE.
    The aforementioned cat was rubbing itself against the rear seat and Yowling/screeching at full volume, this is simply not acceptable behaviour.
    Apon awakening this morning , i examined the seat and it does not smell like fish, so i am wondering how i can persuade the feline felon into pissing off and not molesting my bike anymore.

    I have on occasion released the hounds and they have decimated the kitten population in my yard however the drawback from the dogs is they urinate on everything.

    Do any of you enlightened folk have realistic and practical ideas as to how encourage a feline absence, without resorting to firearms.

  2. #2
    disturbance in the Turnip baldrick's Avatar
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    Chilli

    As an added bonus, the Thai babes will be bending over when they sniff your saddle

  3. #3
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    Yep, chilli powder or powdered black pepper. The finer the better because they sniff it and run away. Cheap enough too.
    I used to get feral cats pissing on my couches on my back deck. Pepper sprinkled on the couches (no effect on anyone sitting down) kept them away very effectively.
    Chilli even keeps elephants at bay.

  4. #4
    Thailand Expat Dillinger's Avatar
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    I'm gonna do something bad to the neighbours cats soon.

    Mostly the Missus fault for leaving her stinking fish bones in her outdoor kitchen but the fuckers are shitting in the garden.

    I've heard vinegar is good.

  5. #5
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    HELP needed.-download-jpg
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails HELP needed.-download-jpg  

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dillinger View Post
    I'm gonna do something bad to the neighbours cats soon.

    Mostly the Missus fault for leaving her stinking fish bones in her outdoor kitchen but the fuckers are shitting in the garden.

    I've heard vinegar is good.
    In a water pistol. The super-soakers they have for songkran are the thing. I reckon a mixture of water (75%), chilli powder, and vinegar. Aim for the face or butthole. They'll quickly learn that your yard is not a good place to be and the owners will have no evidence to show you hurt their "beloved" cats.

  7. #7
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    Put a weather cover over your bike!

  8. #8
    Thailand Expat David48atTD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Loy Toy View Post
    Put a weather cover over your bike!
    Yeh, I was thinking along those lines.

    We wack a blanket over our bikes ... but that's more for stopping the gecko poo building up.

  9. #9
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    ^ So simple and protects the precious property against all elements.

  10. #10
    Thailand Expat Dillinger's Avatar
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    Luigi has a penchant for taking photos whilst sat on others bikes and he reeks of sweaty gash

  11. #11
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    ^ A Luigi Diaper...............................

    Maybe a new invention!

  12. #12
    CCBW JPPR2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dillinger View Post
    I'm gonna do something bad to the neighbours cats soon.

    Mostly the Missus fault for leaving her stinking fish bones in her outdoor kitchen but the fuckers are shitting in the garden.

    I've heard vinegar is good.
    I bought a Bamboo fish trap, set a can of tuna in it and caught a few and drove them 20kms from the house and let them go in a big field. Fuckers were coming and sleeping on my furniture. The male sprayed my stuff and cat piss is a sumbich to remove.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by uncle junior View Post
    HELP needed.-download-jpg
    Heh.
    Let me relate a story. As mentioned above, I used to have a problem with feral cats on my back deck. My office was beside the back door to the deck, and one day as I was sitting at my comp, a cat put it's head around the door. I had a pellet gun in my office, and thought, "Right, that's it!", loaded the gun, peeked around the door, and there was the cat sitting placidly. At point blank range, I shot it between the eyes. It curled up in a death throe, and then I realised that this cat had a collar! Oh no! Not a feral, but someone's pet.
    Bugger. Too late. Can't admit to it or be caught, so I put the cat in a sack, ready to throw in the rubbish.
    An hour later I heard a noise. The sack was fidgeting. Fvuck!!! Do I let it out, or do I finish the job? If I let it out and it runs away, the owner will see the pellet embedded in it's skull and call the cops... finish the job. So I tipped it out of the sack and wacked it on the head with a 4x2. Smashed skull, eye hanging out. Done. Back in the sack. I thought, although I was sure it was dead I can't risk it coming to again and mewling in the rubbish bin for someone to find so decided to bury it in the back yard. Dug a hole and tipped the content of the sack into the hole, whereupon the bloody thing started struggling again!!! Beat it with the spade. Absolutely dead this time. I hoped.
    Anyway, buried it, but because of the way it came to 3 times already, and the thought of cat's 9 lives, I put a big flower pot over the grave.
    Had nightmares for months of the cat climbing out of that hole and haunting me.
    To make matters worse, a few days later there was a flyer in my letterbox with a photo and the words, "Missing kitty, please call xyzxxxyz".

    I had a similar thing with a feral cat in Fiji. Those things are hard to kill.


  14. #14
    CCBW JPPR2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by David48atTD View Post
    Yeh, I was thinking along those lines.

    We wack a blanket over our bikes ... but that's more for stopping the gecko poo building up.
    I always cover my R3. The dealership gave me a nice cover. But as noted in Post #12, I no longer have a cat problem.

    I do however have this silly old thai bat at the end of our soi who has decided to start to feed dogs and now have 4 of them hanging out. I had my FIL go down and tell her to knock that shit off immediately in the nicest of face saving Thai he could deploy.

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