My girlfriend is a porn star.
She is going to be so pissed off when she finds out
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My girlfriend is a porn star.
She is going to be so pissed off when she finds out
Jack came to work monday morning with 2 black eyes.
I asked him what happen ?
Well, went to church yesterday, there was this lady in front of me, her skirt was deep into the butt line. I tought it would be good to pull it out and got slammed one eye !
OO i see, but why you got 2 black eyes ?
Well, as she disliked it out, i pushed the skirt back in !
:smileylaughing:Quote:
Originally Posted by nidhogg
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Originally Posted by nidhogg
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Originally Posted by nidhogg
Been on Sikipedia? These were some of the latest ones
^ mea culpa.
A young Geordie lad takes his girlfriend home for the first time. He introduces her:
"This is Amanda."
His dad jumps up. "It's a fucking what?"
:smileylaughing::smileylaughing::smileylaughing:To took a minute but it got there.Quote:
Originally Posted by English Noodles
Out of greens sorry.
:)...
2 nuns get raped by 2 hoodies.
1 nun said "Forgive them lord for they know not what they're doing."
2nd nun says "Oh Jesus this one does!"
I would just like to share an experience with you all, and it has to do with drinking and driving.
As you know some of us have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from the odd soiree over the years.
Well I for one have done something about it: Last night I was out for a few drinks with some mates and had way too many Red Squares & shooters, knowing full well I was wasted, I did something I've never done before.
I took a bus home.
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
I arrived home safely and without incident which was a real surprise, since I had never driven a bus before!!
Seven retired Jewish Floridian fellows were playing
poker in the condo clubhouse when Meyer loses $500 on a
single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table.
Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other
five continue playing, but standing up. At the end of the
game, Finkelstein looks around and asks, "So, who's gonna tell
his vife?" They cut the cards. Goldberg picks the low card and
has to carry the news. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle,
don't make a bad situation any worse. "Discreet? I'm the most
discreet person you'll ever meet. Discretion is my middle
name. Leave it to me." Goldberg goes over to Meyer's condo
and knocks on the door. The wife answers through the door
and asks what he wants. Goldberg declares: "Your husband
just lost $500 in a poker game and is afraid to come home."
"Tell him to drop dead!" yells the wife.
"I'll go tell him." says Goldberg.
__________________
I've just ordered 200 bottles of Tippex.
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I think I've made a huge mistake...
Crippen, your avatar. Why?
A toddler, was giving her daddy a tea party, she brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea , her Mom came home, Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!
For B/F !!:chitown:Quote:
Originally Posted by Koojo
What does that mean? You're a female and that's your own pic and you use it as your avatar because your boyfriend is a member?Quote:
Originally Posted by crippenFor B/F !!:chitown:Quote:
Originally Posted by Koojo
Some guy just knocked on my door selling raffle tickets for poor
black orphans. I said, “Fuck that – knowing my luck, I’d win one!”
Was banging this nice Lady over her kitchen table when we heard the
front door open. She said, “It’s my husband! Quick, try the back door!”
Thinking back, I really should have ran –
but you don’t get offers like that every day.
When asked in a recent survey, 90 per cent of Albertan men responded
that their most memorable and joyous moment in life was being present
at the birth of their first-born child…. Obviously none of them have ever
seen an Arab being run down by a Tractor Trailer.
It is a photo of the Thai P.M. Yunlick,and it seems to annoy Butterfly. Where have you been!:chitown:Quote:
Originally Posted by KoojoWhat does that mean? You're a female and that's your own pic and you use it as your avatar because your boyfriend is a member?Quote:
Originally Posted by crippenFor B/F !!:chitown:Quote:
Originally Posted by Koojo
OK, I can live with that.Quote:
Originally Posted by crippenIt is a photo of the Thai P.M. Yunlick,and it seems to annoy Butterfly. Where have you been!:chitown:Quote:
Originally Posted by KoojoWhat does that mean? You're a female and that's your own pic and you use it as your avatar because your boyfriend is a member?Quote:
Originally Posted by crippenFor B/F !!:chitown:Quote:
Originally Posted by Koojo
Especially the annoying butterfly bit.
Knock Knock.
I was sitting in traffic one day when a semi trailer went out of control and completely flattened the minibus in the lane next to me killing all 12 muslims aboard.Quote:
Originally Posted by ShilohJim
I said to myself, Christ, that could've been me.
So the next day I signed up for truck driving lessons.
Knock Knock.
What?Quote:
Originally Posted by English Noodles