Thread: More England World Cup Jokes

England team refused entry to UK as new immigration rules mean that you can't allow unskilled people in from outside the EU

David Blaine is gutted because his record for doing fcuk all in a box for 42 days has been broken by Wayne Rooney.

If anyone can learn anything from Urugauy's Luis Suarez.

It's Rob Green.

great ones, red dragon and farang red

I met a fairy today who granted me one wish. 'I want to live forever' i said.
Sorry said the fairy, 'i am not allowed to do wishes like that'
Ok i said, 'i want to die when England win the World Cup'
'You crafty bastard' said the fairy.

England are going to replace the 3 lions on their shirts with 3 tampons to represent the worst fooking period they have ever had!

In a class, the teacher is asking everyone what jobs their parents have...

Teacher to kid: and what does your dad do?

Jimmy: he's a stripper in a gay bar and often lets other men touch his privates

After class, teacher takes Jimmy to one side...

Teacher: is that true about your dad?

Jimmy: no, he plays football for england but I was too embarassed to say

had a close shave at the weekend....the wife came home unexpectedly, i just managed to switch the porn on and get my knob out to avoid the embarassment of being caught watching England!!!

God has told freddie mercury that he can return to earth as whosoever he wishes. He asks to return as an England goalkeeper. When God asks why he says ' I'd have 10 arseholes in front of me and 10,000 pricks in the stand behind and absolutely no chance of catching anything

Sadaam Hussein as been sentenced to death has been allowed to choose his firing squad. He has chosen Rooney, Lampard and Hesky.

All the kids wanna become Ref now, can stay in the World cup a lot longer

Court Ruling from the UK

A seven year old boy was at the centre of a courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.
The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with the child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.
After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.
After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the England Football team, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

Painfully funny stuff. If you're English you're probably a masochist anyway.

LOL - great thread.

OXO are introducing a new white oxo cube with a red cross on it to support the
england team >>>>> It will be called the laughing STOCK.