The MAN test

[a. boozer]

1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to
as:

a) lovemaking
b) screwing
c) the pigskin bus pulling into tuna town


2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after
you've both shared:

a) your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
b) your blood-test results
c) five tequila slammers


3. You time your orgasm so that:

a) your partner climaxes first
b) you both climax simultaneously
c) you don't miss SportsCenter


4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:

a) healthy, creative love-play
b) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to
c) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find
out about


5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex
with is:

a) the best part of the experience
b) the second best part of the experience
c) $100.00 extra


6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in weight in the
last month. You tell her that it is:

a) no concern of yours
b) not a problem
c) a conservative estimate


7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:

a) a myth
b) a oxymoron
c) gay


8. Foreplay is to sex as:

a) appetizer is to entree
b) primer is to paint
c) a line is to an amusement park ride


9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself
saying at the end of a relationship?

a) "I hope we can still be friends."
b) "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
c) "Welcome to Dumpsville, population, YOU"


10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:

a) probably needs a little more time before she can cope with
that sort of intimacy
b) is uptight and a waste of time
c) shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place


If you answered "A" more than 7 times,
check your pants to make sure you really are a man.

If you answered "B" more than 7 times,
check into therapy, you're still a little confused.

If you answered "C" more than 7 times... YOU DA MAN!

[C0ldf1re]

...
a) lovemaking a) your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship a) your partner climaxes first
...

Just what some guys needed! A crib-sheet on how to pretend to be a caring, sensitive bloke. Until you're fed up with her, and can go back to being your usual self.

Was writing in green a subtle hint as to how we can show our appreciation? You've got it!

[mud]

Hillarious.

[LeeRoy]

damn, as funny as hell!
thanks!

[Cujo]

Funny as fuck but I thought no.10 was particularly funny for some reason.