The Farmer

[a. boozer]

One day a farm implement salesman visited a new potential
customer in hopes of selling him the latest, greatest and most
expensive piece of farm machinery his company had ever produced.
He found the farmer sitting in the barn with his head in his
hands. The salesman introduced himself and explained why he was
there.

"Well," said the farmer, "If you can do something for me, I'll
buy one of those fancy gadgets."

The salesman could barely contain his excitement at the prospect
of such a huge sale, after all, there was nothing he wouldn't do
to make this sale. "Sure," said the salesman, "Just name it!"

"Well," started the farmer, "this morning I came down to the barn
to milk Bessie. I put the stool down beside her and the pail
under her and was just about to begin milkin' when she got up an'
kicked me with her right hoof. I took a piece of rope and tied
her right leg to the side of the stall and went around to the
left side of her with my stool. I no sooner got sittin' when she
got up an' kicked me with her left hoof. I took another piece of
rope and tied her left leg to the other side of the stall. Then I
took the stool around to the back of her and sat down and was
just about to start milkin' when she got up again and swats me in
the face with her tail. I didn't have any more rope so I took off
my belt and stood up on the stool and proceeded to tie her tail
to the ceiling and of course my pants slid down to my ankles.
Right then my wife walks in.
Now if you can convince my wife that all I was going to do was
milk the cow, I'll buy one of them things."

[watterinja]

^ Can imagine it...

Better to have bought a 'kick-bar', & milking-machine, I'd have thought...

[Happyman]

Better to have bought a 'kick-bar', & milking-machine, I'd have thought...

I dunno though - if the cow was pretty should have had his way with it - nothing would convince his wife so may as well get stuck in !

[Kiwi_Refugee]

Yes, theres not much difference between a wife and a cow anyway...

[Kurgen]

One's a cow with tits, the other's a cow with teets

[Kiwi_Refugee]

One sucks and another blows?