Thread: Bar Girl Contract

the Authorised Representatives Of The Parties Have Signed This Agreement In Two Originals

for And On Behalf Of The Lbfm

Signed By ___________________
(print Name) ___________________

for And On Behalf Of The Punter
Signed By ___________________
(print Name) ___________________

witnessed By The Mamasan
Signed By ___________________
(print Name) ___________________

PART B - CONDITIONS OF CONTRACT

(1) DEFINITIONS
In construing these General Conditions of Contract and all other Contract documents, the following words have the meanings hereby assigned to them:

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"Short Time" means a period of sexual activity from a minimum of one hour (from commencement, excluding Down Time) to a maximum of three hours.

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"Long Time," means a period of sexual activity from a minimum of three hours (from commencement, excluding Down Time), to a maximum of Up To You.

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"Down Time" means the time spent by the LBFM hiding in the bathroom, watching television or chatting on the telephone to her friends.

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"Contract" means the contract made between the Punter and the LBFM and comprises the documents stated in the Agreement to form the Contract. This is an enabling contract under which the Punter can call upon the LBFM to perform the Services as and when they are required.

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"Contract Price" means the aggregate amount to be ascertained in accordance with the Schedule of rates and Prices and paid to the LBFM for the provision of Services in accordance with the Contract.

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"LBFM's Equipment" means all such tools and / or materials required by the LBFM for the performance of the Services, including but not limited to; condoms, KY Jelly, mouthwash, and toothbrush. The LBFM shall be in possession of a genuine calibrated pussy. The proposed introduction of an artificial pussy, or a todger, must be pre-approved by the Punter.

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"Up To You" means that the Punter can issue any instruction, take any action or demand any position, as he shall deem necessary.
(2) COMMENCEMENT AND DURATION
Subject to having given the LBFM reasonable advance notice of his planned intentions, the Punter may call upon the LBFM to perform the Services, as and when they are required. The Punter shall give an oral instruction (a "Come On” Instruction) to the LBFM to commence the Services, or when the Services are to be undertaken in more than one phase, to commence the relevant phase. Unless some other period is agreed between the parties, the LBFM shall mobilize and, within fifteen (15) seconds of the receipt of the Punter's instruction, commence the Services and shall proceed diligently with the performance thereof until such time(s) as they have been completed in accordance with the Contract to the satisfaction of the Punter and he has issued a money shot, chin omelette, or pearl necklace, farted and rolled over.
(3) REPORTING
The LBFM shall, within thirty (30) seconds of the receipt of the Punter's instruction to commence the Services under Clause 2, provide feedback to the Punter on his performance and let him know he is so big and you feel so wonderful and no previous Punter has ever put it "there".
(4) VARIATIONS
Subject always to the variations being within the capability of the LBFM, the Punter shall have the right to order (by way of a "Variation Order" issued verbally) variations to the services for any reason he shall deem necessary. Such variations may include changes in the scope, position, dress, number of partners, sequence and / or timing of the Services. There are no provisions in the Contract for additional payment for Variations and these are deemed included in the Contract Sum.
(5) SUBCONTRACTING
The LBFM shall not subcontract any part of the services without the prior consent of the Punter. The subcontracting of any part of the Services by the LBFM shall not relieve her from any of the obligations under the Contract and the LBFM shall be fully responsible for the services performed by any subcontractor.
(6) INDEPENDENT LBFM
In the performance of the Services the LBFM shall be an independent LBFM and not the wife, girlfriend or "Tilac" of the Punter. Upon completion of the Services, the LBFM shall not write, phone, SMS or email the Punter.
(7) INTERFACES
The Punter reserves the right to require the LBFM to share the site with other LBFMs. In these instances, the Punter will dictate the boundary limits, and it is the duty of the LBFM to flange up to the orifices of the interface LBFMs and put on a bit of a show.
(8) COMPLIANCE WITH LAWS AND REGULATIONS
The LBFM and her subcontractors shall comply with all laws and regulations having jurisdiction over the Services and shall indemnify the Punter against all claims or proceedings arising out of any breach of such laws and regulations. The LBFM warrants that she is properly authorized to do business in Jakarta and that she is free of any legal impediment that might prevent her from performing, or might delay the performance of the Services.
(9) WARRANTY
The LBFM warrants that she shall exercise all reasonable skill, care and diligence in the performance of the Services and shall carry them out in accordance with such regulations, codes and standards, sound whoring and / or professional practice and established procedures as are applicable.
(10) CONTRACT PRICE AND PAYMENT
The Punter shall pay the LBFM, as full and final compensation for the satisfactory performance of the services, the Contract Price, as set out in the Schedule of rates and Prices. All payments due under this Contract shall be made only to the LBFM and not to any representative or mamasans and the LBFM shall not factorise any such payments.
(11) AUDIT RIGHTS
The LBFM shall make available to the Punter her whole body for inspection as and when required. The Punter reserves the right to keep the lights on during the Services.
(12) LIABILITY FOR LOSS, DAMAGE OR INJURY
To the extent indemnity is not prohibited by the applicable legislation and in addition to the duties, obligations and responsibilities of the LBFM to the Punter as set forth elsewhere in the Contract, the LBFM shall pay, protect, indemnify and hold harmless the Punter and his respective affiliates (at the LBFM's sole cost and expense) from and against all liabilities, claims, losses, damages, costs and expenses (including, among other things, reasonably incurred attorney's fees and expenses and reasonably incurred fees and expenses of experts or professionals) arising out of and limited to claims that relate to are for:
(a) Bodily Harm (including back injury, sore bell-end and STDs) (b) Divorce (c) Damage to or loss of property (d) Damage to or loss of reputation (13) SUSPENSION
The Punter shall have the right to suspend the Services or any part thereof for up to ninety (90) minutes at any time for the Punter's own reasons. These reasons include watching the football, having a few beers to relax, or inability to get wood.
(14) TERMINATION
Termination for convenience
The Punter reserves the right to terminate the Services for his own convenience at any time by the giving the LBFM seven (7) minutes oral notice specifying the time of termination. On the time of such termination the LBFM shall cease performance of the Services and shall comply with the instructions of the Punter relating to the cessation. The Punter shall pay the LBFM in respect of the Services satisfactorily performed up to the time of termination. In no event shall the LBFM be entitled to any prospective profits or any other compensation because of such termination.
Termination for default
If the LBFM shall default, or be negligent in the performance of her obligations under the Contract and fails to correct such default or act of negligence immediately, the Punter may, without prejudice to any other rights or remedies he may have, terminate the Contract by telling the LBFM to get dressed and fuck off. This may also be accompanied by a kick up the arse for gross default or negligence.
Termination for police raid
If the Services are to be performed in-situ or in a Short-Time budget hotel and the coppers raid the joint, the Punter reserves the right to shin naked down a drainpipe and get the fuck out of there.
(15) FORCE MAJEURE
The obligations of the Punter and / or the LBFM in any capacity shall be suspended during the time and to the extent that the Punter or the LBFM, or both, as the case may be, is or are prevented or hindered form performing, in whole or part, his/her/their duties and obligations under this contract by "Force Majeure" as defined in the following:
"Force Majeure" means any of the following, which are outside the reasonable control of the party claiming Force Majeure: (a) Menstruation; (b) Police Raid or other coitus interruptus while on the vinegar stroke; (c) Short- Time Hotel fully booked: (d) ATM non-operational, (e) Split Condom.
(16) LAW, LANGUAGE AND SETTLEMENT OF DISPUTES
The Contract shall be construed and take effect in accordance with the laws of Jakarta and the ruling language shall be English.
If any question, dispute or difference shall at any time arise between the Punter and the LBFM in connection with or arising out of the Contract, the parties shall endeavour to settle the same by mutual agreement. However, if the parties should fail to settle such difference or dispute by agreement, the same shall be referred to the arbitration of Mamasan, who shall decide the fate of the contract Sum. The determination of the Mamasan shall be final and binding on the Parties, except in the event when the Punter disagrees and may administer a kick up the arse to the LBFM.
(17) HEALTH AND SAFETY
The Punter places the highest importance and priority on safety, health and the protection of family jewels during the performance of the Services.
The LBFM shall be responsible for the safe performance of the services and shall ensure the integrity of the condoms used, that the LBFM's work site is clear of crabs and warts, and that the Punter's bell end does not get nibbled during the act of "Smoking".