Thread: The UK and immigrants :)

Good morning and welcome to a brand new edition of ASYLUM.

Todays programme features another chance to take part in our exciting
competition....

Hi-jack an airliner and win a council house. We've already given away
hundreds of millions of pounds and thousands of dream homes, courtesy
of our
sponsor, The British Taxpayer, and don't forget, we're now the fastest
growing game on the planet.

Anyone can play, provided they don't hold a valid British Passport. You
Only need to know one word of English "ASYLUM".

Prizes include all expenses paid accommodation, cash benefits starting
at
£180 a week and a chance to earn thousands more begging, mugging and
accosting drivers at traffic lights.

This competition is open to everyone buying a ticket or stowing away on
one of our partner airlines, ferry companies or eurostar. No
application
ever refused!!

All you have to do is destroy all your papers and remember the magic
password: ASYLUM.

Only a few weeks ago 140 members of the Taliban family from Afghanistan
Were flown goat class from Kabul to our international gateway at
Stanstead
where local law enforcement officers were on hand to fastrack them to
their
luxury £200 a night rooms in the fabulous four star Hilton Hotel.

They join tens of thousands of other lucky winners already staying in
hostels all over Britain. Our most popular destinations include the
White
Cliffs of Dover, the world famous Toddington Services area in historic
Bedfordshire and the money tree at Croydon.

If you still don't understand the rules, don't forget there's no need
to
phone a friend or ask the audience.

Just apply for legal aid!! hundreds of lawyers, social workers and
counsellors are waiting to help, it won't cost you a penny.

So play today. It could change your life forever.

Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet
activists, anti-pinochet activists, Kosovan drug smugglers, Tamil
tigers,
bogus Bosnians, COME ON DOWN!!

Be one of the tens of thousands of lucky winners in the softest game on
earth. Roll up, roll up my friends for the game that never ends.
Everyone's a winner when they play ASYLUM.