Thread: The Pedigree Diet.

Yesterday I was at my local Coles store buying a large
bag of Pedigree dog food for my loyal pet and was
in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant?
So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was
starting the Pedigree Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t,
because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 21 lbs before I
woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices
and IV's in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pockets with Pedigree nuggets and simply eat
one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally
complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to
mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with
my story.)
Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an
Irish Setter's arse and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
I'm now banned from Coles.