>> In the year 2007, the Lord came unto Noah, who
was now living in
>> the U.S., and said, "Once again, the earth has
become wicked and
>> over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh
before me.
>>
>> Build another Ark and save 2 of every living
thing
>> along with a few good humans."
>>
>> He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6
>> months to build the Ark before I will start the
>> unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."
>>
>> Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw
Noah weeping in his yard -
>> but no Ark.
>>
>> "Noah!" He roared , "I'm about to start the
rain!
>> Where is the Ark ?"
>>
>> "Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things
have changed. I needed a
>> building permit. I've been arguing with the
inspector about the need for
>> a
>> sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've
violated the neighborhood
>> zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and
exceeding the height
>> limitations. We had to go to the Development
Appeal Board for a decision.
>>
>> Then the electric company demanded a bond be
posted for the future costs
>> of
>> moving
>> power lines and other overhead obstructions, to
clear the passage for the
>> Ark 's move to the sea.
>>
>> I told them that the sea would be coming to us,
but they would hear
>>nothing
>> of it.
>>
>> Getting the wood was another problem. There's a
ban on cutting local
>> trees
>> in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to
convince the
>> environmentalists
>> that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no
go!
>>
>> When I started gathering the animals, an animal
rights group sued me.
>> They
>> insisted that I was confining wild animals
against their will. They
>> argued
>> the accommodation was too restrictive , and it
was cruel and inhumane to
>> put
>> so many animals in a confined space.
>>
>> Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark
>> until they'd conducted an environmental impact
study on your proposed
>> flood.
>>
>> I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the
Human Rights Commission
>> on
>> how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my
building crew.
>>
>> Immigration and Naturalization are checking the
>> Visa status of most of the people who want to
>> work.
>>
>> The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They
insist I have to hire
>> only
>> Union workers with Ark-building experience.
>>
>> To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my
assets, claiming
>> I'm trying to leave the country illegally with
endangered species.
>>
>> So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least
10
>> years for me to finish this Ark. "
>>
>> Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to
shine,
>> and a rainbow stretched across thesky.
>>
>> Noah looked up in wonder and asked,
>> "You mean you're not going to destroy the
world?"
>>
>> "No," said the Lord.
>> "The government beat me to it."