The Legless Parrot

[Tickiteboo]

A man bought a parrot one day and when he brought it home, he noticed something. "This parrot has no legs," he observed out loud as he set the cage down on his table. To his surprise, the parrot replied: "That is correct, sir, I hope it doesn't bother you too much."
The man asks: "Well, how do you stand on your perch?"
"Well," the parrot replied, "I wrap my little parrot dick around my perch. You can't see it because it's hidden by my feathers."
The man decided this was a good explanation and let everything be. A few weeks later he started to suspect that his wife may be cheating on him, so he devised a plan. "I need you to spy on my wife when I'm at work," he told the parrot, and the parrot agreed.
The next evening, when the man returned from work, he snuck over to the parrot's cage and asked: "Well? Anything happen today?"
The parrot replied: "I'm afraid your wife is having an affair with the mailman. You see, today, after you left, he showed up at the door, and she greeted him clad in a see-through nightgown..."
"Go on!" the man urged.
"Well," said the parrot, "he proceeded to kiss her neck while stroking her breasts. After that he took off her nightgown, revealing a bra and lacy black knickers..."
The parrot paused. "Go on!" the man hissed, desperate. "What happened after that?!"
"Fuck knows," said the parrot, "I fell off my perch!"

[billy the kid]

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