Thread: Forrest Gump goes to Heacen

FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN
>> > >>
>> > >>
>> > >>The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He
>> > >>is at
>> > >>the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are
>> > >>closed,
>> > >>and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.
>> > >>St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest,
>> > >>it is certainly good to see
>> >you. We have heard a lot about you. I
>> > >>must
>> > >>tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have
>> > >>been administering
>> > >>an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you
>> > >>have to
>> > >>pass it before you can get into Heaven."
>> > >>Forrest responds, "It sure is
>> > >>good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any
>> > >>entrance
>> > >>exam. I sure hope that the test ain't too hard.
>> > >> Life was a big enough test
>> > >>as it was."
>> > >>St. Peter continued, "Yes, I
>> > >>know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.
>> > >>
>> > >>F irst:
>> > >>What two days of the week begin with the letter T?
>> > >>
>> > >>Second:
>> > >>How many seconds are there in a year?
>> > >>
>> > >>Third:
>> > >>What is
>> >God's first name?"
>> > >>Forrest leaves to think the questions
>> > >>over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him
>> > >>up, and
>> > >>says, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over,
>> > >>tell me your answers"
>> > >>Forrest replied, "Well, the
>> > >>first one -- which two days in the week begins with the letter "T"?
>> > >>Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow."
>> > >>The Saint's eyes opened wide and
>> > >>he exclaimed, "Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do
>> > >>have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you
>> > >>credit
>> > >>for that answer. How about the next one?" asked St. Peter.
>> > >>"How many seconds in a year?
>> > >>Now that one is harder," replied Forrest, but I thunk and thunk
>> > >>about
>> > >>that,
>> >and I guess the only answer can be twelve."
>> > >>Astounded, St. Peter said, "Twelve?
>> > >>Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with
>> > >>twelve seconds
>> > >>in a year?"
>> > >>Forrest replied, "Shucks, there's
>> > >>got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... "
>> > >>"Hold it," interrupts St.
>> > >>Peter. "I see where you are going with this, and I see your point,
>> > >>though that was not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to
>> > >>give
>> > >>you credit for that one, too Let us go on with the third and final
>> > >>question.
>> > >>Can you tell me God's first name"?
>> > >>"Sure," Forrest replied,
>> > >>"it's Andy."
>> > >>"Andy?" exclaimed an exasperated
>> > >>and frustrated St Peter.
>> > >>"Ok, I can understand how you
>> > >>came up with your
>> >answers to my first two questions, but just how
>> > >>in the
>> > >>world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?"
>> > >>"Shucks, that was the easiest
>> > >>one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it from the s ong, "ANDY
>> > >>WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN."
>> > >>St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates,
>> > >>and said: "Run Forrest, run."

^ That's nice and clear to read...